HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Sports Balls Illustrated reporter Dottie Bazooka recently spoke with Houston Astros 2nd baseman, Jose Altuve, at a local Jack-In-The-Batter’s-Box Lounge, across from Minute Maid Park.
She asked him how it feels to be on top again. Altuve shrugged his shoulders and replied that he is thrilled that all of those so-called sign-stealing rumors have died down and are gone like that Civil War movie, "Gone With The Wind."
He pointed out that technically nothing was ever proved and even the Trumptard said that the Astros didn’t really cheat in the true sense of the word since there was no money involved.
Miss Bazooka asked Jose about his brand new line of Tequila named No Way Jose Tequila. He said beaming with pride that it has already surpassed the sales of El Matador Tequila and Tequila Mockingbird in 43 of the 50 states.
In a Non-Related Story. Trump’s personal doctor has informed him that he will definitely be needing a tongue transplant within 12 months.