PITTSBURGH – (Sports Satire) – A contingent of politicians, businessmen, and two matadors traveled from Cancun, Mexico to Pittsburgh to meet with Pirates owner Robert Nutting.
The group of influential men had heard from watching ESPN-7, that he may be interested in moving the team out of the Steel City, due to the team’s horrible record.
Nutting has told local reporters that the money from ticket sales is barely enough to keep the stadium lights on.
He said that he had to borrow some money from a bank in China just to meet last month's team payroll.
Nutting even revealed that he had to layoff the team bat boy, 16 hot dog vendors, and the two ball girls.
Cancun Mayor Tony Tabasco said that they have the financial backing to build a baseball stadium that will seat 43,902 fans.
The mayor revealed that the new team owners will still keep the Pirates name, but he did disclose that they will be changing the uniform colors from black, gold, and white, to the colors of Mexico’s flag; red, green, and white.