CLEVELAND – (Sports Satire) – After months of trying to find a name to replace the inappropriate team name, the Cleveland Indians organization has finally decided on a new name.
Team Spokeswoman Loretta Ramona Dellvippy, who has been separated from her husband Nathan Dellvippy, for 13 months, informed the sports media that the decision on the name was made by the team owner without any input from anyone else.
She pointed out that the new name, the Cleveland Cicadas, was actually suggested by the team bat boy Tony “Pee Wee” Lollarcaster, 12.
Mrs. Dellvippy pointed out that team owner, Paul Dolan, personally went through about 9,102 names, that were submitted from fans from 49 of the 50 U.S. states, 6 of the 7 Central American countries, 9 of the 12 nations in South America, and 14 of the 50 European countries.
The owner also wants the media to know that he is doing away with the old team colors, which are red, navy blue, and white, and the new colors will be brown, green, and orange, which are the colors of the cicada insect.
Dellvippy did want to let everyone know that the rumor that the team was going to switch the uniform numbers from numerical numbers to Roman numerals is absolutely false, and she added that the fan that started that rumor has been banned from ever entering Progressive Field again.
SIDENOTE: The team has just announced that they will be having tryouts to pick someone to be the team’s new mascot (Cedric The Cicada).