MEMPHIS – (Satire News) – Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine’s Buck Yazoo has just reported that after a whole lotta years, Tennessee schools named after the Confederate general who was one of the founders of the Ku Klux Klan will get new names.
Yazoo remarked that the state decided to implement the name change in exchange for The Society Against Blatant Extreme Racism (SABER) agreeing to drop their $71.4 million discriminatory lawsuit against the state.
SABER spokeswoman Cantaweena Dabbadew, stated that having schools in Tennessee named after Forrest would be like having schools in England named after Adolf Hitler, or schools in Japan named after Godzilla.
State Senator Westinghouse Abner McGillacock of Stale Biscuit, Tennessee, said that his great, great, great grandmother Cora May, had a very intimate affair with the general, who she described as a cool, funny, sexy, dude.
The senator says that he is so upset about the name changes that he has decided to sell his trailer and move to Kentucky.