HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – According to The Sports Bet Gazette, one of the most popular Astros players in the history of the team has hinted that he may be requesting to be traded. SBG sports writer Zorro La Bamba, met with Altuve at a local Barb…
TIJUANA, Mexico – (Satire News) – Mexico’s El Ole News Agency has just named “The Housewives of Tijuana” the numero uno (#1) reality show in the entire North American continent. According to El Ole, the show beat out such favorites as “The Guacam…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette has disclosed that Houston Astros future hall-of-famer Jose Altuve has just signed a contract with Round and Round Records to record a hip hop song. The song is titled "Hey Baby, Look at My Balls,…
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Sports Balls Illustrated reporter Dottie Bazooka recently spoke with Houston Astros 2nd baseman, Jose Altuve, at a local Jack-In-The-Batter’s-Box Lounge, across from Minute Maid Park. She asked him how it feels to be on t…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros superstar Jose Altuve says he is really missing his former teammate George Springer, but adds that he is ready to start the 2021 ‘beisbol’ season. The Venezuelan native, and man who will one day be the pr…
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated and the Sports Bet Gazette are both reporting that, due to treasonous President Trump inciting his beloved band of low-life insurgents to attack the Capitol Building, every single player, coa…
SAN DIEGO – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros second baseman Jose Altuve is denying reports that appeared on Fox Sports, saying that the Astros owner hired a Louisiana voodoo woman to put a hex on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Altuve, the feisty all-st…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Sporting Chance Magazine reports that the Houston Astros have made a big turnaround, and they have, little by little, overcome the 2017 sign-stealing scandal. The Astros are now rockin’ and rollin’ toward the MLB po…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - Houston Astros super star Jose Altuve spoke with a reporter for CBS Sports, and told him that the Astros have learned their lesson, and they will never, ever again cheat during a baseball game. He noted that it has been…
HOUSTON –(Sports Comedy) A lawyer for the Houston Astros has filed a legal complaint against the Kansas City Royals organization. Attorney, Rolando F. Applecross, representing the 2017 World Series champions, states that, during the game between…
HOUSTON – The Astros organization recently told The Sports Mirror, they feel they've finally fallen back into the good graces with their fans, their non-fans, and the umpires union. An Astros spokesperson stated that the owner, John “Whooping” Cra…
HOUSTON – The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that the Houston Astros are desperately trying to curtail the criticism they are still receiving due to the so-called “Sign-Stealing Scandal”. Astros manager, Dusty Baker, said that they had a team mee…
HOUSTON – Houston Astros team spokespersons, Jose Altuve and Carlos Correa, met with representatives with Major League Baseball, and presented an idea for getting the 2020 baseball season under way. Altuve said that, if something is not done and p...
HOUSTON – The president and his daughter, Ivanka, made a quick trip on Air Force One down to Houston to meet with the owner of the Houston Astros Jim “Whooping” Crane. Crane, who purchased the team in 2011 for $465 million, said that the president...
HOUSTON – Ever since spring training started, the Astros players have heard the word 'cheater' by the bat boys account at least 190,000 times. The Houston Citizen Review reports that second baseman, Jose Altuve, was overheard saying, “Man, I yust...
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