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Funny satire stories about Houston Astros

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Funny story: Trump Attends a Braves – Astros World Series Game and Insults The Entire Native-American Nation

Trump Attends a Braves – Astros World Series Game and Insults The Entire Native-American Nation

ATLANTA – (Sports Satire) – The most hated person in America, Donald Jonathan Trump, did not help himself when he was spotted at the Atlanta Braves – Houston Astros World Series Game, acting like a total and complete asshole. Trump, who stood out…

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Funny story: The Reason Why The Stunningly Sexy Houston Astros Director of Security Resigned

The Reason Why The Stunningly Sexy Houston Astros Director of Security Resigned

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Hollywood Innuendo has broken the scoop as to why Tiffany Vagaselli resigned her position as director of security for the Houston Astros. Fajita San Guacamole, with Hollywood Innuendo stated that 27-year-old Vagaselli r…

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Funny story: President Biden Signs a Presidential Executive Order Pardoning The New England Patriots, The New Orleans Saints, and The Houston Astros

President Biden Signs a Presidential Executive Order Pardoning The New England Patriots, The New Orleans Saints, and The Houston Astros

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki announced at the latest press conference, that the president has decided to issue a PEO (Presidential Executive Order) which will pardon three professional sports teams. Jen…

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Funny story: Dodgers and Astros Fans Fight and Fight and Fight in The Stands

Dodgers and Astros Fans Fight and Fight and Fight in The Stands

LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) – Needless to say there is no love-lost between Los Angeles Dodgers fans and Houston Astros Fans. The sports animosity goes back to 2017, when the Astros beat the Dodgers to capture the World Series Championship. A…

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Funny story: Houston Astros Super Star Jose Altuve To Record A Hip Hop Song

Houston Astros Super Star Jose Altuve To Record A Hip Hop Song

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette has disclosed that Houston Astros future hall-of-famer Jose Altuve has just signed a contract with Round and Round Records to record a hip hop song. The song is titled "Hey Baby, Look at My Balls,…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Have Just Hired The Sexiest, Most Beautiful Director of Security in All of Sports

The Houston Astros Have Just Hired The Sexiest, Most Beautiful Director of Security in All of Sports

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – After gunfire erupted at a Washington Nationals – San Diego Padres game, many Major League Baseball teams are stepping up their security measures. The Houston Astros have just hired former Navy Seal Tiffany Vagaselli to…

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Funny story: Jose Altuve and The Houston Astros Are Kicking Butt As They Sport The Best Record In The American League

Jose Altuve and The Houston Astros Are Kicking Butt As They Sport The Best Record In The American League

HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Sports Balls Illustrated reporter Dottie Bazooka recently spoke with Houston Astros 2nd baseman, Jose Altuve, at a local Jack-In-The-Batter’s-Box Lounge, across from Minute Maid Park. She asked him how it feels to be on t…

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Funny story: Elon Musk Loves In-N-Out Burgers So Much – He’s Thinking About Buying The Fast Food Franchise

Elon Musk Loves In-N-Out Burgers So Much – He’s Thinking About Buying The Fast Food Franchise

SANTA MUCHACHA, California – (Satire News) – Those who know Elon Musk, aka Mr. Mars, know that there are four things that the amazing billionaire loves, The Houston Astros, The La Brea Tar Pits, Mars, and Sofia Vergara’s amazing breasts. But as h…

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Funny story: Professional Sports Teams Are Scooping Up An Amazing Athlete's Foot Pill

Professional Sports Teams Are Scooping Up An Amazing Athlete's Foot Pill

KALAMAZOO, Michigan – (Sports Satire) - After an extensive two-year research study a medical scientist in Kalamazoo, Michigan has developed an astounding pill that when swallowed with 18 ounces of Gatorade completely wipes out the dreaded athlete's…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros May Go Back To Using Their Original Name

The Houston Astros May Go Back To Using Their Original Name

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The sports world is abuzz with news that Houston Astros owner Jim “Whopping” Crane is toying with the idea of changing the team name back to it’s original name, The Colt 45’s. Back in 1962, the newly formed team was lau…

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Funny story: Jose Altuve of The Houston Astros Says He’s Ready To Play ‘Beisbol’

Jose Altuve of The Houston Astros Says He’s Ready To Play ‘Beisbol’

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros superstar Jose Altuve says he is really missing his former teammate George Springer, but adds that he is ready to start the 2021 ‘beisbol’ season. The Venezuelan native, and man who will one day be the pr…

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Funny story: Houston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada

Houston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – In a move that's shocked baseball fans throughout the nation, Houston Astros fan-favorite George Springer will be leaving Texas and moving up to Toronto. The All-star, free-agent, outfielder and spokesman for Lone Star…

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Funny story: Trump Pardons Biden For Stealing Election

Trump Pardons Biden For Stealing Election

BILLINGSGATE POST: As if struck by a lightning bolt while on his porcelain throne, in a spirit of unbounded equanimity, unmatched since he pardoned Roger Stone, today President Trump announced his latest pardon list. Limiting it to those accused o…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros and The Boston Red Sox Are Thinking About Trading Center Fielders – George Springer for Jackie Bradley Jr.

The Houston Astros and The Boston Red Sox Are Thinking About Trading Center Fielders – George Springer for Jackie Bradley Jr.

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – It’s no secret that the honeymoon between the Houston Astros and George Springer is over. In fact, the Astros are asking for some of the wedding gifts to be returned. The Astros priority is to get something or someone f…

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Funny story: Houston Astros Super Star George Springer Says He Doesn’t Want To Be An Astro Anymore

Houston Astros Super Star George Springer Says He Doesn’t Want To Be An Astro Anymore

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – According to Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine, Astros outfielder George Springer no longer wants to play for the Astros. Springer, who is now a free agent, spoke with SBIM’s Dottie Bazooka, and told her that there are…

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Funny story: Millions of Houston Astros Fans Are Furious as Hell

Millions of Houston Astros Fans Are Furious as Hell

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros fans are ready to tar and feather one Senator Benjamin “The Ass” Sasse. The senator from Nebraska, during the Judge Amy Barrett senate hearing, out of the blue, mentioned that the Houston Astros are cheat…

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Funny story: The Entire Population of Texas Says That Nebraska Senator Sasse is Nothing But a Pile of Chupacabra Shit

The Entire Population of Texas Says That Nebraska Senator Sasse is Nothing But a Pile of Chupacabra Shit

AUSTIN – (Satire News) – iRumors is reporting that Texas Governor Greg Abbott has issued a proclamation prohibiting Nebraska Senator Bennie Sasse from ever setting foot in Texas. The senator from the “Crème-Style Corn State” has angered every man,…

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