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Funny satire stories about Houston Astros

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Funny story: A Female Catcher Tries Out For The World Champion Houston Astros

A Female Catcher Tries Out For The World Champion Houston Astros

HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - The Houston Astros organization reports that a female catcher, who stands 6-foot-6-inches tall and who weighs 286, has been given a tryout with the world champion Houston Astros. The catcher was born and bred in Tampico…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Win The World Series!!!

The Houston Astros Win The World Series!!!

HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - The Houston Astros showed the baseball world, that they are the best baseball team in the entire world. The Astros beat the Phillies from Philadelphia quite convincingly and left millions of weeping fans in the city of…

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Funny story: Whataburger Is The Favorite Hamburger of The Houston Astros

Whataburger Is The Favorite Hamburger of The Houston Astros

SAN ANTONIO, Texas - (Sports Satire) - The Whataburger fast food franchise, has just announced that it is the favorite burger of the Houston Astros baseball team. A Whataburger spokesperson said that Astros manager Dusty Baker said that the only f…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Continue Kicking Everyone's Ass In Major League Baseball

The Houston Astros Continue Kicking Everyone's Ass In Major League Baseball

HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - Even with losing super star Carlos Correa to the Minnesota Twins, the high-flying Astros are still dominating the entire MLB. Sports writers from all over the nation, including Sports Bet Gazette scribe Zorro La Bamba a…

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Funny story: Jose Altuve Says He Wants To Leave The Houston Astros

Jose Altuve Says He Wants To Leave The Houston Astros

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – According to The Sports Bet Gazette, one of the most popular Astros players in the history of the team has hinted that he may be requesting to be traded. SBG sports writer Zorro La Bamba, met with Altuve at a local Barb…

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Funny story: Trump Attends a Braves – Astros World Series Game and Insults The Entire Native-American Nation

Trump Attends a Braves – Astros World Series Game and Insults The Entire Native-American Nation

ATLANTA – (Sports Satire) – The most hated person in America, Donald Jonathan Trump, did not help himself when he was spotted at the Atlanta Braves – Houston Astros World Series Game, acting like a total and complete asshole. Trump, who stood out…

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Funny story: The Reason Why The Stunningly Sexy Houston Astros Director of Security Resigned

The Reason Why The Stunningly Sexy Houston Astros Director of Security Resigned

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Hollywood Innuendo has broken the scoop as to why Tiffany Vagaselli resigned her position as director of security for the Houston Astros. Fajita San Guacamole, with Hollywood Innuendo stated that 27-year-old Vagaselli r…

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Funny story: President Biden Signs a Presidential Executive Order Pardoning The New England Patriots, The New Orleans Saints, and The Houston Astros

President Biden Signs a Presidential Executive Order Pardoning The New England Patriots, The New Orleans Saints, and The Houston Astros

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki announced at the latest press conference, that the president has decided to issue a PEO (Presidential Executive Order) which will pardon three professional sports teams. Jen…

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Funny story: Dodgers and Astros Fans Fight and Fight and Fight in The Stands

Dodgers and Astros Fans Fight and Fight and Fight in The Stands

LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) – Needless to say there is no love-lost between Los Angeles Dodgers fans and Houston Astros Fans. The sports animosity goes back to 2017, when the Astros beat the Dodgers to capture the World Series Championship. A…

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Funny story: Houston Astros Super Star Jose Altuve To Record A Hip Hop Song

Houston Astros Super Star Jose Altuve To Record A Hip Hop Song

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette has disclosed that Houston Astros future hall-of-famer Jose Altuve has just signed a contract with Round and Round Records to record a hip hop song. The song is titled "Hey Baby, Look at My Balls,…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Have Just Hired The Sexiest, Most Beautiful Director of Security in All of Sports

The Houston Astros Have Just Hired The Sexiest, Most Beautiful Director of Security in All of Sports

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – After gunfire erupted at a Washington Nationals – San Diego Padres game, many Major League Baseball teams are stepping up their security measures. The Houston Astros have just hired former Navy Seal Tiffany Vagaselli to…

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Funny story: Jose Altuve and The Houston Astros Are Kicking Butt As They Sport The Best Record In The American League

Jose Altuve and The Houston Astros Are Kicking Butt As They Sport The Best Record In The American League

HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Sports Balls Illustrated reporter Dottie Bazooka recently spoke with Houston Astros 2nd baseman, Jose Altuve, at a local Jack-In-The-Batter’s-Box Lounge, across from Minute Maid Park. She asked him how it feels to be on t…

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Funny story: Elon Musk Loves In-N-Out Burgers So Much – He’s Thinking About Buying The Fast Food Franchise

Elon Musk Loves In-N-Out Burgers So Much – He’s Thinking About Buying The Fast Food Franchise

SANTA MUCHACHA, California – (Satire News) – Those who know Elon Musk, aka Mr. Mars, know that there are four things that the amazing billionaire loves, The Houston Astros, The La Brea Tar Pits, Mars, and Sofia Vergara’s amazing breasts. But as h…

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Funny story: Professional Sports Teams Are Scooping Up An Amazing Athlete's Foot Pill

Professional Sports Teams Are Scooping Up An Amazing Athlete's Foot Pill

KALAMAZOO, Michigan – (Sports Satire) - After an extensive two-year research study a medical scientist in Kalamazoo, Michigan has developed an astounding pill that when swallowed with 18 ounces of Gatorade completely wipes out the dreaded athlete's…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros May Go Back To Using Their Original Name

The Houston Astros May Go Back To Using Their Original Name

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The sports world is abuzz with news that Houston Astros owner Jim “Whopping” Crane is toying with the idea of changing the team name back to it’s original name, The Colt 45’s. Back in 1962, the newly formed team was lau…

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Funny story: Jose Altuve of The Houston Astros Says He’s Ready To Play ‘Beisbol’

Jose Altuve of The Houston Astros Says He’s Ready To Play ‘Beisbol’

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros superstar Jose Altuve says he is really missing his former teammate George Springer, but adds that he is ready to start the 2021 ‘beisbol’ season. The Venezuelan native, and man who will one day be the pr…

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Funny story: Houston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada

Houston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – In a move that's shocked baseball fans throughout the nation, Houston Astros fan-favorite George Springer will be leaving Texas and moving up to Toronto. The All-star, free-agent, outfielder and spokesman for Lone Star…

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