HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - The Houston Astros organization reports that a female catcher, who stands 6-foot-6-inches tall and who weighs 286, has been given a tryout with the world champion Houston Astros. The catcher was born and bred in Tampico…
HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - The Houston Astros showed the baseball world, that they are the best baseball team in the entire world. The Astros beat the Phillies from Philadelphia quite convincingly and left millions of weeping fans in the city of…
SAN ANTONIO, Texas - (Sports Satire) - The Whataburger fast food franchise, has just announced that it is the favorite burger of the Houston Astros baseball team. A Whataburger spokesperson said that Astros manager Dusty Baker said that the only f…
HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - Even with losing super star Carlos Correa to the Minnesota Twins, the high-flying Astros are still dominating the entire MLB. Sports writers from all over the nation, including Sports Bet Gazette scribe Zorro La Bamba a…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – According to The Sports Bet Gazette, one of the most popular Astros players in the history of the team has hinted that he may be requesting to be traded. SBG sports writer Zorro La Bamba, met with Altuve at a local Barb…
ATLANTA – (Sports Satire) – The most hated person in America, Donald Jonathan Trump, did not help himself when he was spotted at the Atlanta Braves – Houston Astros World Series Game, acting like a total and complete asshole. Trump, who stood out…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Hollywood Innuendo has broken the scoop as to why Tiffany Vagaselli resigned her position as director of security for the Houston Astros. Fajita San Guacamole, with Hollywood Innuendo stated that 27-year-old Vagaselli r…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki announced at the latest press conference, that the president has decided to issue a PEO (Presidential Executive Order) which will pardon three professional sports teams. Jen…
LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) – Needless to say there is no love-lost between Los Angeles Dodgers fans and Houston Astros Fans. The sports animosity goes back to 2017, when the Astros beat the Dodgers to capture the World Series Championship. A…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette has disclosed that Houston Astros future hall-of-famer Jose Altuve has just signed a contract with Round and Round Records to record a hip hop song. The song is titled "Hey Baby, Look at My Balls,…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – After gunfire erupted at a Washington Nationals – San Diego Padres game, many Major League Baseball teams are stepping up their security measures. The Houston Astros have just hired former Navy Seal Tiffany Vagaselli to…
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Sports Balls Illustrated reporter Dottie Bazooka recently spoke with Houston Astros 2nd baseman, Jose Altuve, at a local Jack-In-The-Batter’s-Box Lounge, across from Minute Maid Park. She asked him how it feels to be on t…
SANTA MUCHACHA, California – (Satire News) – Those who know Elon Musk, aka Mr. Mars, know that there are four things that the amazing billionaire loves, The Houston Astros, The La Brea Tar Pits, Mars, and Sofia Vergara’s amazing breasts. But as h…
KALAMAZOO, Michigan – (Sports Satire) - After an extensive two-year research study a medical scientist in Kalamazoo, Michigan has developed an astounding pill that when swallowed with 18 ounces of Gatorade completely wipes out the dreaded athlete's…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The sports world is abuzz with news that Houston Astros owner Jim “Whopping” Crane is toying with the idea of changing the team name back to it’s original name, The Colt 45’s. Back in 1962, the newly formed team was lau…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros superstar Jose Altuve says he is really missing his former teammate George Springer, but adds that he is ready to start the 2021 ‘beisbol’ season. The Venezuelan native, and man who will one day be the pr…
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – In a move that's shocked baseball fans throughout the nation, Houston Astros fan-favorite George Springer will be leaving Texas and moving up to Toronto. The All-star, free-agent, outfielder and spokesman for Lone Star…
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