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Funny satire stories about Houston Astros

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Funny story: Jose Altuve Says The Houston Astros Have Learned Their Lesson

Jose Altuve Says The Houston Astros Have Learned Their Lesson

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - Houston Astros super star Jose Altuve spoke with a reporter for CBS Sports, and told him that the Astros have learned their lesson, and they will never, ever again cheat during a baseball game. He noted that it has been…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros and the Seattle Mariners Both Make Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred a Great Big Promise

The Houston Astros and the Seattle Mariners Both Make Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred a Great Big Promise

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - Reps for both the Seattle Mariners and the Houston Astros have promised MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred that they will no longer participate in bench-clearing brawls. According to Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Balls Illustra…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros and The Oakland A’s Brawl Could End Up Getting Each Team Hit with a $1 Million Fine

The Houston Astros and The Oakland A’s Brawl Could End Up Getting Each Team Hit with a $1 Million Fine

OAKLAND – (Sports Satire) - It appears that, lately, anytime that there is a bench-clearing incident, chances are the Astros are one of the two participating teams. One sports writer from Tijuana, Mexico, wrote that the Astros seem to draw controv…

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Funny story: Two Houston Astros Players Are Caught Wearing Fake Medical Masks

Two Houston Astros Players Are Caught Wearing Fake Medical Masks

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - The Electoral College Astros, as many L.A. Dodger fans call them, lost to the other L.A. team, the Los Angeles Angels, 5-4. A groundskeeper reported that, during the game, he counted at least 43 hot dogs that were throw…

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Funny story: The Los Angeles Dodgers and The Houston Astros Get Into A Bench-Clearing Brawl

The Los Angeles Dodgers and The Houston Astros Get Into A Bench-Clearing Brawl

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) - As anyone who knows anything about baseball knows, the rivalry between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Houston Astros has recently escalated to stratospheric heights. It began years ago with the Wife-Stealing Scandal, b…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Are Complaining That The Kansas City Royals Used Piped In Boos Throughout the Course of Their Game

The Houston Astros Are Complaining That The Kansas City Royals Used Piped In Boos Throughout the Course of Their Game

HOUSTON –(Sports Comedy) A lawyer for the Houston Astros has filed a legal complaint against the Kansas City Royals organization. Attorney, Rolando F. Applecross, representing the 2017 World Series champions, states that, during the game between…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Have Decided To Change Their Uniform Colors

The Houston Astros Have Decided To Change Their Uniform Colors

HOUSTON – The Astros organization recently told The Sports Mirror, they feel they've finally fallen back into the good graces with their fans, their non-fans, and the umpires union. An Astros spokesperson stated that the owner, John “Whooping” Cra…

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Funny story: The New York Yankees Announce That They Will Not Be Changing Their Name

The New York Yankees Announce That They Will Not Be Changing Their Name

NEW YORK CITY – A spokesman for the New York Yankees has stated that they have listened to the complaints of their southern fans, but the name will remain as it has been for 107 years, since 1913. A group of southern Yankees fans submitted a petit…

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Funny story: President Trump Says He'd Like To Be Bummed By Half Of The Houston Astros Team

President Trump Says He'd Like To Be Bummed By Half Of The Houston Astros Team

In revelations which take some believing, it's been rumored that President Donald Trump has said that he likes the Houston Astros baseball team so much, that he wouldn't mind being buggered by half of them. The news, first reported in 'The Texan S…

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Funny story: Houston Astros Consider Namechange

Houston Astros Consider Namechange

The Houston Astros are coming under increasing pressure to alter their team name tonight, after Black Lives Matter (BLM) representatives claimed the word 'Astros' was disrespectful to people of African origin, sounding, as it does, a bit like 'Afros'...

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Funny story: The New York Yankees and The Los Angeles Dodgers are Picked To Go To This Year’s World Series

The New York Yankees and The Los Angeles Dodgers are Picked To Go To This Year’s World Series

LAS VEGAS – The brain trust in Las Vegas has just stated that the odds-on-favorites to make it to this year’s World Series are the New York Yankees and the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Yankees chances greatly increased when they picked up super pitche…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Vote To Wear a Message Statement on The Back of Their Baseball Shirts

The Houston Astros Vote To Wear a Message Statement on The Back of Their Baseball Shirts

HOUSTON – The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that the Houston Astros are desperately trying to curtail the criticism they are still receiving due to the so-called “Sign-Stealing Scandal”. Astros manager, Dusty Baker, said that they had a team mee…

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Have Been Invited by President Trump to a Good-Old-Fashioned White House Texas Barbecue

The Houston Astros Have Been Invited by President Trump to a Good-Old-Fashioned White House Texas Barbecue

HOUSTON – The President took time off from his busy Coronavirus schedule to fly down to Texas to meet with his all-time favorite baseball team. POTUS hosted the Houston Astros at the White House last year when they won the World Series. He sai...

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Funny story: Houston Astros Batboy To Put His Astros World Championship Series Ring Up On eBay

Houston Astros Batboy To Put His Astros World Championship Series Ring Up On eBay

HOUSTON – Sports Balls Illustrated said that they spoke with the father of the Houston Astros batboy. Ersatz Franciosa told SBI that his 12-year-old son, Hanky, is so upset about the recent Astros Sign-Stealing Scandal, that he wants to sell his 2...

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Funny story: President Trump Hints That He May Be Purchasing The Houston Astros

President Trump Hints That He May Be Purchasing The Houston Astros

HOUSTON – The president and his daughter, Ivanka, made a quick trip on Air Force One down to Houston to meet with the owner of the Houston Astros Jim “Whooping” Crane. Crane, who purchased the team in 2011 for $465 million, said that the president...

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Funny story: The Los Angeles Dodger Fans Lawsuit Against the Houston Astros Gets Thrown Out at Second Base

The Los Angeles Dodger Fans Lawsuit Against the Houston Astros Gets Thrown Out at Second Base

HOUSTON – A District 43 circuit judge has just thrown out the $12.7 million lawsuit that had been filed against the Houston Astros organization by a group calling itself The Left Coast Anti-Astros Coalition. LCAAC spokeswoman, Willadeena Pinnsanel...

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Funny story: The Sign-Stealing Scandal Plagued Houston Astros Are Hoping That The Baseball Season Gets Cancelled

The Sign-Stealing Scandal Plagued Houston Astros Are Hoping That The Baseball Season Gets Cancelled

HOUSTON – Ever since spring training started, the Astros players have heard the word 'cheater' by the bat boys account at least 190,000 times. The Houston Citizen Review reports that second baseman, Jose Altuve, was overheard saying, “Man, I yust...

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