TIJUANA, Mexico – (Satire News) – US Border Patrol inspectors have learned that unruly beavers are causing tremendous damage to “El Trumpo’s Wall,” as it is known throughout Mexico, Central America, and South America.
BP Agent Zeke Carpenwinkle, 29, said that he and fellow agent Lana Majora, 36, who is also his live-in girlfriend, recently came upon a 7-foot opening in the wall.
Upon closer inspection they found beaver tracks, beaver hair, and beaver droppings, leading them to believe that the damage was done by friggin’ beavers.
When asked by Hacienda Fiddle with Boom Boom News, how simple little beavers could cause so much damage, she was told by Agent Carpenwinkle, “Haci, have you ever seen the little bastards teeth? Hell with those chompers they could damn well cut into Fort Knox."
When asked how much it is going to cost to repair the beaver damage to the wall, Agent Majora, replied that it won’t cost anything, since the wall is in the process of being completely torn down.
SIDENOTE: The mayor of Tijuana Robbie Fernandez-Finnigan, told reporters that now that the US is tearing the entire wall down, it will make it much easier for the south bound individuals to cross back into Mexico and return to Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, and Costa Rica.