Police and emergency services in the Black Hills, South Dakota, were called out to deal with potential casualties this morning, after an incident at Mount Rushmore left the world-famous site reduced to a pile of rubble.
The location is known for the rock sculptures of the faces of former US presidents, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and George Washington, but these have now vanished under a million tons of granite.
Local witnesses say that, around 8am, they heard a loud grinding sound, and, with many thinking it was an earthquake, they rushed outside.
The rumpus, however, was coming from the Mt. Rushmore site, and several vehicles made off to the area.
What the saw when they arrived, left them aghast.
The four ex-presidents had gone, as had about 400m of the rockface, which was now piled up below.
Seismologists confirmed that, according to their equipment, there had been no underground activity, and the extremely good weather persuaded them that the landslide had not been due to meteorological reasons.
Police officers are currently talking to two local men who claim to have seen 'distinct frowns' on the faces of the ex-presidents just before the avalanche occurred.
The pair had been discussing the news that President Donald Trump is hoping to have his own image carved into the rock.
A police spokesman said:
"We may have to face the very real possibility that the four ex-presidents willed this to happen, to save their faces, and to save their faces appearing next to Trump's freaky dumbass mug."