Manchester City now too expensive to hate fans admit

Written by Doubting Thomas

Tuesday, 21 May 2019

image for Manchester City now too expensive to hate fans admit
Next season's team, according to accountants

Due to accounting irregularities currently under investigation by UEFA, it has been revealed that Manchester Cty are now the most expensive club in the world for fans to hate and revile.

From next season, the average cost of just going to a match in order to spit, throw things and chant racist abuse, has risen to over £2.7 million, and from September, the pleasure of throwing things at the telly will rise to £87,000 per second.

Man City have risen in recent years from being merely disliked to a world-beating "Gloryhound scum with more money than braincells", and bought their way rapidly up the table of 'most hated clubs' to reach the top this year.

In previous seasons, they have languished in third place behind Manchester United and Chelsea with dirty, dirty United being the all-time record holders, and Liverpool snapping at their heels as "European Twats of the Century".

Due to a bookkeeping mixup in the FA Cup final, lowly Watford were beaten by a team of 234 goalkepers, 76 central defenders and three last-minute substitutes from Lehman Brothers.

City have also announced some new players for next season including Vladimir Check-Book, Emelio Rounding-Error and 34 new strikers all with the same surname of Bung, who are all expected to play in the first match of the new season

A spokesperson denied all charges of cheating or trying to buy titles and simply stated:

"We have already started next season well, and are 27 points clear already."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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