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Funny story: Football Gossip: Bale, Rangers and Jellied Eels

Football Gossip: Bale, Rangers and Jellied Eels

Gareth Bale has told his team-mates he doesn't care about manager Zinedine Zidane's treatment of him and intends to see out the remainder of his contract at Real Madrid. Bale says he will be happy to stay and 'play golf' if not selected to play as he...

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Funny story: Gareth Bale To Dispense With 'Man Bun'

Gareth Bale To Dispense With 'Man Bun'

Gareth Bale, the Real Madrid footballer who is looking for a new club to play for after rumours that the Spanish giants are to replace him, is to have his 'man bun' removed, and face the music of baldness. The Welshman has used the stick-on dollop...

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Funny story: Real Madrid Sign Karius From Liverpool

Real Madrid Sign Karius From Liverpool

European champions Real Madrid celebrated last night after overcoming a resilient Liverpool side in the Champions League final in Kiev, then announced they have signed the Anfield club's German goalkeeper, Loris Karius. Madrid won the game 3-1 - t...

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Funny story: Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

With one day to go before the transfer window slammed shut, the longest running transfer speculation (since Ronaldo joined Real Madrid)has been completed. After the press conference, a source close to Gareth Bale revealed to Sly Sports why the transf...

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Funny story: Transfer Window: Peter Odemwingie turned away from Real Madrid training ground

Transfer Window: Peter Odemwingie turned away from Real Madrid training ground

For the second transfer deadline day in a row, West Bromwich Albion striker Peter Odemwingie was involved in a sensational rejection at the gates of a club he was desperate to sign for. Last January, with the transfer window clock ticking down, th...

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Funny story: Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Real Madrid has sensationally recouped all the £85million outlay on Welsh wonder Gareth Bale in less than 24 hours. The canny Galacticos have charged 85,000 fans 500 euros to witness the press conference at the Bernabeu welcoming Bale. Each fan wi...

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Funny story: Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

English Premier League (EPL) side Totting-ham Hot-sports have pleaded with La Liga giants Real Madrid to pay cash up front for Gareth Bale, the hottest footballer ever to leave Wales, (a tiny island the size of Wales on the side of England) North...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Cristiano Ronaldo has rejected accusations he said he is "sad" at Real Madrid to get more money from the club. (BBC Sport) Its hair gel. He wants more hair gel. Trust my sources on this one Liverpool supporters' union Spirit Of Shankly has called on the club's American owners to appoint a chief executive based in the city. (ESPN) The problem is, if they did appoint a local CEO, they'd proba...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 23rd August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 23rd August 2012

Players who have quit Arsenal over the last seven years have amassed 44 winners' medals between them at 11 different clubs, while those who stayed at the Emirates have empty trophy cabinets. (The Sun) But hey, whose counting? And think of the money they've saved on polish. And new trophy cabinets. Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers denies he is taking the Reds' Europa League qualifying match a...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 21st August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 21st August 2012

Brazil international Kaka, 30, has been offered to Manchester United on a season-long loan as Real Madrid prepare for the arrival of Luka Modric. (Daily Mail) Man United are now the first go to club when your offloading a player aged 29 or over. Zenit St Petersburg have made a fresh approach to permanently sign Andrey Arshavin, with Arsenal seeking £10m for the 31-year-old forward. (The Time...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 9th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 9th July 2012

Talksport Alan Pardew insists he is doing everything he can to keep striker Demba Ba, 27, at Newcastle I find handcuffs work best. Daily Mail Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey, 21, admits he and his team-mates have no idea how the situation with striker Robin van Persie will pan out. Have you thought about seeing a clairvoyant? Liverpool are understood to have had a bid rejected for 25-yea...

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Funny story: Ronaldo Fails New UEFA Smug Test

Ronaldo Fails New UEFA Smug Test

Real Madrid and Portugal talisman Cristiano Ronaldo faces two years on the sidelines after falling foul of UEFA's new smug testing policy. This remarkable development is sure to take the shine off his night of glory after guiding his team to a 1-0...

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Funny story: Spain to raise some money by selling footballers

Spain to raise some money by selling footballers

The two largest football teams in Spain have been heavily funded by contributions from the Spanish government. With Spain's economy now in dire straits, with a need to find two billion Euros, it has been determined to reclaim the assets that they hel...

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Funny story: "Die Lederhosen" are now "The Special One's"

"Die Lederhosen" are now "The Special One's"

Last night BMW (Bavarian Master Works) proved that there are more "Special Ones" than generally is believed (Especially "The Special One" himself) after donning their "Lederhosen", spanking their knees and spanking the bums of Ronaldo & Co. Jo...

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Funny story: World's Best Footballer - Messi Or Ronaldo? - Local Man Gives Definitive Verdict

World's Best Footballer - Messi Or Ronaldo? - Local Man Gives Definitive Verdict

It's been acknowledged as the most difficult question in modern football - the sheer genius of the diminutive Argentinian, or the instinctive athletic artistry of the Portuguese? Who is the world's best footballer? The two went head to head last n...

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Funny story: Transfer Window: Mourinho to return to Premier League at end of season - but with who?

Transfer Window: Mourinho to return to Premier League at end of season - but with who?

Premier League chairman were measuring their linen baskets and coaches looking over their shoulders last night upon the news that 'special one' Jose Mourinho wants to leave Real Madrid and return to the Premier League at the end of the season - but t...

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Funny story: Ronaldo and Messi go head to head in Spanish Copa Del Raya

Ronaldo and Messi go head to head in Spanish Copa Del Raya

The Spanish cup second leg between Real Madrid and Barcelona exploded last night when star players Christiano 'Winker' Ronaldo and Lionel 'Mini' Messi went head to head in a mud wrestling challenge after 62 minutes of the game. A highly volatile m...

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