Pep Guardiola Is Not A Fan Of Man Buns

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 23 May 2019

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image for Pep Guardiola Is Not A Fan Of Man Buns
Freshly-baked man buns waiting to be stuck on some cunt's head

The Manchester City coach, Pep Guardiola, has said in an interview he is not impressed by man buns, and would never sign a player who had one.

A man bun is a funny-looking dollop of hair perched on the back of some men's heads which looks a bit like a sort of tightly-tied, fully-stuffed coin purse, or one of those Chinese pork-filled steamed buns

They make men look like right cunts.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic had one.

See what I mean?

Guardiola was speaking to journalists about the possibility of signing Real Madrid want-away star, Gareth Bale, who has chosen to go through life wearing his hair in a man bun. It's been claimed that Bale does so because he is trying to conceal a creeping baldness, but Pep had this to say:

"There's nothing wrong with being bald. I mean, Vincent Kompany is bald. In fact, being follicly-challenged is very masculine. Personally, I would never sign a player with a man bun, because I think that type of man is rather too 'in touch' with his feminine side, and might be an distraction in the dressing room."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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