Mandy Offered F1 Drive
Following Hot on the news that Lord Mandelson helped convince Honda to continue to support Brawn for the 2009 season; Mandy offered F1 drive with Brawn in 2010 F1 Season
Arnold Schwarzenegger discovers birth certificate
In the same hospital where President Obama was born freeing the way for Arnold Schwarzenegger to run agains Obama in 2012
No more cash for home furnishings, MPs told
No more four poster beds for Jenny Willot, Lib-Dem MP for Cardiff Central.
Iran sees Yellow!
Iran Demands 75% of all World's Uranium Yellow Cake
Tony Romo pleases Dallas Fans by not throwing any interceptions Sunday
Of course, it was the Cowboys bye week, but you never know with Romo.
written by Jalapenoman, 19 October 2009
Negative Reinforcement A Positive Winner
In a 1.7 million dollar study Psychologist conclude, positive reinforcement and adoration, as ego inflating as it is, doesn't work as well as a 20,000 volt shock collar.
Jesus Budda is still locked in, hopes of survival, zero!
Jesus Budda is still locked away behind his barricades, Spoof writers have attempted every trick in the "Doggies" book, Jaggedone even threw him a choccy "biccy" but he just wagged his tail sadly!
English Thrown Out As Language of United States
Obama changes official language to Ebonics. Grades for D.C. area students improve dramatically over night. Former Acorn workers employed to translate the Constitution into the new language.
Sotomayor, Movin On Up
New Supreme Court Judge Sotomayor found to not be Latino. She admits to the hoax but found to be Obama's half sister born in Kenya.
Nancy Pelosi Lights One Up
Nancy Pelosi demands lawmakers include medical marijuana in health care bill. California farmers celebrate the news into the night at beaches all over the state.
Acorn Revitilized by Offering Mangement Training
Michigan Governor sends all state employees to Acorn for management training seminars.
Balloon Boy Feels Let Down By Parents
The boy at the center of the balloon fraud scandal says that he feels let down and by his parents.
written by Bunsen Burner, 19 October 2009
Record Suicude Rate Obama Takes Credit
Record suicide rate due to poor economy. Business is busting at the seams in Funeral homes all over America. Obama credits his stimulus plan.
Rising Seas - Not Caused by Global Warming
Traced Back to Gordon Brown who 'took a dump' as his plane flew over the Atlantic.
Definition of "Spinning Top"
Prime Minister Gordon Brown checking on the Deputy Prime Minister anchoring for his job.
Rudolph, surprisingly appearing in public without his trademark nose, announces his retirement after winning 'a significant sum' on the Sunderland Liverpool game this weekend.
written by RedGBarn, 19 October 2009
Surprise, surprise Afghani election was a "SOAP"
newly-elected Afghani President Karzai is a puppet, reasons: The election was masterminded by the US, starred Neo, doubled by Keanu Reeves and was called "The Kabul Matrix v Kill Uncle Sam"
The UK is sinking, drowning in it's ignorance
After ignoring all of the warnings, it has been declared official, the UK is sinking and will be renamed the new Atlantis of the North Sea, Captian Nemo promises a visit!
Pubic hairs from Elvis are auctioned and re-implanted!
A bunch of Elvis's pubic hairs were auctioned and sold for $15.000. The fetish perv buyer has promised to have them reimplanted around his P-ELVIS, the King remains immortal and itchy!
Sex doesn't sell anything especially tabloid newspapers!
SEX is out, that's official, the Tabloid newspapers and websites are recoiling after a dramatic fall off of sales and hits, reason: Posh, Paris and Britney are not worth WANKING over!
Have you caught your balloon?
Balloon chasing has suddenly become popular all around the world following the events in Colorado the past few days.Even Arctic Eskimoes are pursuing weather balloons launched thousands of miles away.
written by whatinthe world, 19 October 2009
No More Male Through Gateley's Box
There are to be no more deliveries in Stephen Gateley's back door post box due to industrial inaction.
written by Bunsen Burner, 19 October 2009
Suicide by Redneck
In a new twist on the old method of "suicide by cop", some down hearted folks are ending their miserable life by walking into a honky tonk and saying that Dale Earnhardt sucked shit.
This actually is the Matrix
And you are in it, it's just that you aren't as smart as Neo Anderson, nor does the resistance need you. So continue to live your meaningless life, and if we win, we'll try to remember to free you.
You are right to feel regret about that lost opportunity
The cute girl in English class would have gone out with you if you'd asked, and she'd have gone all the way, too. And she would have been much better for you than the woman you did marry.
Pee Wee Herman has not been caught masturbating since 1991
Investigators report that this can only mean that he has found a very, very good hiding place for when he does indulge in self-abuse.
Arnold to run for President in 2012
Speaking from the governor's mansion, Arnold asked, "If some Kenyan can be President, then why can't I?" Orly Taitz commented, "At least he's honest."
Man smokes but avoids lung cancer
A man has avoided lung cancer by taking the extra time to sort through, and only buy, the packs of cigarettes that say pregnant women shouldn't smoke. He avoids packs that say they cause lung cancer.
Vandalism at Nudist Colony
It was reported that vandals drilled holes in the fences of a local nudist colony last night. Police are looking into it.
Lewis and Jenson X Factor Sensations
Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button are reputed to be next X Factor sensation. The talented duo will be singing their new smash hit. 'A Flash in the Pan'.
David Coulthard said to be green envy.
Obama amazed that he could triple America's deficit
Contemplating the amazing feat of growing America's deficit to almost 2 trillion dollars, Obama reflects, "And to think my Kenyan village tribal chief said I'd never amount to anything!"
Hamilton wants 2010 crown
Lewis Hamilton says, "Well done, Jenson, but it's mine in 2010."
Jenson in arrogance accusations
Jenson Button given Jeremy Clarkson award for arrogance after 3 hour parc ferme donut marathon
People Warned Dihydrogen Monoxide is Deadly
Media begins new scaremongering tactics over drowning.
"4, 8, 15, 16, 23, & 42"
Type them out at computer terminal SEQ ID CODE rhino_backdoor and "Bob's Your Uncle" - you get three wishes.
Interview with an After Dinner Speaker
"I speak a lot, after dinner."
CERN Creates Green-Hole
By compressing a green pea into the size of a single atom CERN makes green-hole rip in the space-time continuum.
President's Brain Leans to the Left
Positive proof that the President's Brain leans to the left was provided by an MRI scan which showed the Presidents left brain lobe is 2kg heavier than his right brain lobe.