Boyzone are to hold auditions for a new vacancy. All those interested please attend Gobbler's Gulch, Clapham Common on 1st November.
written by Bunsen Burner, 17 October 2009
Bin Laden Operatives Learn to Spoof Airport Scanners
Taliban adopts amorous tactics to make bombs "with curves" to fool airport scanners. TSA staff agrees unanimously to management's request to look very closely at women (or men) with handsome curves.
Lindsay Lohan Indistinguishable From Garden Hoe
Judge orders arrest of Lohan - STOP - Sherriff can't locate Lohan - STOP - Lohan rings Sherriff instructions of her exact location in her own back yard
Two Jehovah's Witnesses slain by gun fire
Tragedy struck two New Jersey witnesses when they were killed outside the door of Bruiser Mancini. He saw two men in suits, and assumed they were Feds come to arrest him. No Watchtower was left.
President Obama Apologizes For Parking His Halo over Moscow
Kremlin Home Security Sources Confirm Halo over Moscow Belongs To Obama - King of Vogue
New survey surprises everyone
A survey conducted by Google reveals that 98% of all people posting on line have IQs of "at least" 140. Just ask them. This surprised each on line genius, as each thought they were alone.
Scientist says base quantum mathematical equation is wrong
"The equation, pq - qp = (h/2pi)/i, is incorrect. pq - qp should always equal zero and obviously (h/2pi)/i does not equal zero at all. Don't fall for that old "Matrice Mathematics" crap, either." He says.
Bush family to take over Kennedy clan
Citing the need for new blood, and a proven ability to breed, the dynastic Bush family plans to marry the Kennedy clan into themselves. Thus in two more generations, they will rule America forever.
Satirist finds key to funny
Any article can be made funnier by putting in a reference to an Australian baby being ate by a dingo.
Conan O'Brien Thanks International Business Wales
For vacating their plush Chrysler Building Offices - "I had to come back to NYC", said O'Brien.
They're coming says politician
Nigel T Drugold, Minister of the Interior in the Belgian government, believes that UFOs will take over all governmental control on the globe. He says that aliens are currently planning the event.
written by whatinthe world, 17 October 2009
Financial experts warn that dollars are just monopoly money
While financial experts report that there is an equivalancy between the dollars our government is endlessly printing, and monopoly money, they are still insisting on being paid in dollars.
No need to pay for teeth whiteners!
Mothers and dentists throughout America have joined forces to share that secret with you on line for pennies! But I will share it for free - floss and brush daily, and stop with the coffee and ciggs!
Top of fold achieved by newest writer for TheSpoof!
Being of an old fashioned bent, it was insufficient for Alexandria177 to be in the top twenty. He thus endlessly typed so as to gain the number 11 rank, thus putting his name above the fold.
Tori Spelling dieing to get in news!
The actress who sold her soul for some semblence of an acting career, has now had to drop her weight dramatically to get notice. She denies it is 95 pounds, though. Her agent insists it's 89 pounds.
Scientist Say People Are Now Breeding Like Rabbits:
repeatedly chasing each other over hill and dale for three seconds of satisfaction.
written by Adam Click, 17 October 2009
White Republican pleads with Black Democrat - "Free Jack Johnson!"
In a stunning reversal of roles a white conservative - McCain - is pleading for a black liberal - Obama - to pardon the 1908 heavyweight champion for sleeping with a - wait for it! - white woman!
Who is John Galt?
"And where is he when we need him?", ask many. However, he has gone into hiding, and our government is powerless to bring him back. Now would be a good time to head for the hills.
Abraham Lincoln supports Judge who denied interracial marriage!
"I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people" - Abraham Lincoln, 1858
Flaw in "Taxation without representation" found
If taxation without representation is wrong, than shouldn't those who voted for the guy who lost be excused from paying taxes?
Not again! Uk police 'fabricate' situations with 60mph burger, fries and a shake, in 50mph zone.
'Not fair', say fatties
written by nigmuncher, 17 October 2009