ex - President Mitterand's son found guilty for helping kill innocent Angolan's
A Mitterand son has been found guilty but not jailed for making millions in weapon sales to Angola, the French government "bottled" whilst sentencing, DEAD ANGOLANS WERE NOT INVITED TO COURT!
Czech Primeminister halts EU agreement because he's a self-centred pratt!
The Czech Primeminister refuses to ratify EU agreement, not because he's clever, no he's just an obstinate pratt and doesn't like Germans, so what's new!
Scientologists are frauds, ask Tom Cruise!
Scientologists are a bunch of frauds and mind-benders, they kid idiots into believing their crap, ask Tom Cruise, he's a total f*****G idiot!
Karadzic boycotts his own trial and sniggers!
At the Nurnberg trials Nazis couldn't boycott their trials! Karadzic ethnically cleansed and topped roughly a 100000. Whats the difference? Nazis topped Jews, Bosnian Serbs only topped Untermenschen!
"Fatase" combined with protease produces human fuel cell. "Now we know," said NASA official, "why aliens are beaming people up - they had these enzymes before us".
"Fatase" - turns human fat into carbon dioxide and water. Just one side-effect, body melts.
Customs Officials Arrest Snake Smuggling Student
Custom officials in Norway have arrested a reptile-mad student for smuggling 14 Royal Pythons on his body. "We were suspicious when he called himself Monty" said Gustaf Gustafsson of Denmark police.
written by IN SEINE, 27 October 2009
Breaking news for High School boy
When your girlfriend tells you she's not ready to sleep with you yet, this simply means that she will let you waste time and money on her till you dump her. Then she'll screw the next guy at once.
Man meets daughter's cliche
The young man had long hair, was not shaved, but also was not able to have a full beard, and he shared his plans to be a musician. His nose was pierced. Dad has no comment at this time.
NASA director blushes
Everytime he hears about the science gains of China and India in their continued journeys into space, he feels shame. "Like how Britain felt when we passed them up a century ago.", he said.
Lindsay Lohan could be 'Governor of NJ in a Year'
That or "dead as a door-post".
Amy Winehouse - Flashing Boobs
Flash Morse code - turns out Amy's recently enhanced boobs are fitted with long-life internal LEDs linked to a wireless PLC circuit.
14 year old accident victim fears hairy palms
A boy who was recently blinded in an auto accident is living in fear of further devine punishment. He believes that the blindness was caused by his masturbating, and now fears hairy palms are next.
Latvian Meteorite - A HOAX
"We told 'them' it landed in Latvia, duhhhh."
ESPN commentator Bob Griese suspended for saying Hispanic NASCAR Driver was "out having a taco."
Juan Pablo Montoya could not be reached for comment as he was out having a taco.
written by Jalapenoman, 27 October 2009
Derren Brown in hot water
A month after Derren Brown made viewers unable to get out of their chairs using hypnosis, Robert Down has finally managed to extricate himself. He intends to sue the magician for loss of earnings.
written by IainB, 27 October 2009
Michael Jackson Had to Die
"There can only be One," said an Obama campaign spokesperson.
Welsh Coal Board (What's Left of It) Invents Nano-Coal Mines
To teach Welsh kindergarteners about their heritage and to provide background to lessons plans on "failed economy", "high unemployment", dependency on hand-outs, and "hitting the pub".
British Postman Holds the Key to the Meaning of Life
It's in a letter he's carrying, but he's a temp and about to dump half his round in the canal.
India's purchases 56 tones of gold for Dhanteras and Diwali
festivals, but still pleads poverty with x10 more satellite launches and nuke power than UK, Germany and France combined.
Gordon Brown - Missing Link Found
Prehistoric shrimp found with brain capable of fooling early cavemen with visions of full time employment.
LSD - Builds Telepathic Causeway to Alien Residents
NSA boffs reveal that so called "bad trips" were nothing more than communion with Alien Nations. That or you find yourself driving through the S-bend-high of Chicago's Lake Shore Drive.
Even the Sun …
A plurality of organized "black-spots have appeared on the sun today" (Police) - they are organizing themselves, and they read as follows: All Hail Obama. There's a footnote: "Or Else".
Mayor of NYC wants to spend 2 trillion dollars on his re-election campaign only to be told that he should not outspend Obama on his re-election campaign for 2012.
Global Warming Protestors
generate large carbon footprint, following fire-walking contest.
or disagrees, scientists conclude.
+/- of Global Warming
Cardiff will become the new Venice, and Venice the new Lost City of Atlanta.
Man arrested for following the rules
At a local McDonalds, a man showed up wearing a shirt and pair of shoes, and nothing else. He confidently placed his order, in spite of the stares. His defense is that they did not say "pants".
Pentagon Police Use Water Torture on Top Spoof Writer
Pentagon Police water-torture Tcoah demanding to know how he knew about top secret tank armor. Said Tcoah: "I just make this #@$% up - how was I to know they are actually making this #$%@ up!"
"In Bed with Donald Trump"
Scottish Press: Donald Trump gets "favourable treatment" from being in bed with Aberdeenshire Council to get golf course built.
Billionaire is inspired by Cube movies
Construction today was started on a giant cube filled with thousands of smaller cubes, some of them with a variety of deadly traps in them. Says Billionaire, "It looked neat in the movies!"