Harry Maguire To Push Some Buttons On The Hadron Collider

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 10 August 2019

image for Harry Maguire To Push Some Buttons On The Hadron Collider
I bet the colours reeled you in!

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, has announced he will be flying to Geneva next week, to travel to Cern where scientists continue to work on the Hadron Collider, a big machine with which they are attempting to recreate the conditions necessary to create a universe.

The collider has lots of controls and big, colourful buttons, and the youthful Maguire is looking forward to pushing them. His favouritest colour is blue. He wants to press a blue button.

Said Harry:

"I can't wait to get down there and push those buttons! Each button does a different job, and I've already spoken to the mister in charge, and told him I want to press the big blue button that creates universes!"

The mister who works the buttons at Cern, told us:

"It's true what Harry says. There are many buttons here - red, blue, green, yellow, pink, orange, violet, white and black. There are also dials, switches that turn things on and off, levers, chains and hooters. My own personal favourite is the orange button! It's so cute!"

When US president, Donald Trump, heard the news of Maguire's visit, he tweeted:

"I have a lovely red button, which I'll have to try out one of these days!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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