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Funny story: Man United Captain Harry Maguire Has Coronavirus Immunity

Man United Captain Harry Maguire Has Coronavirus Immunity

As scientists raced to find a cure for the deadly Coronavirus yesterday, hope for humanity sprang from an unlikely source, when it was announced that Manchester United and England defender, Harry Maguire, had shown an immunity to the plague. Magui...

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Funny story: United Kingdom Turns To Harry Maguire For Guidance And Inspiration

United Kingdom Turns To Harry Maguire For Guidance And Inspiration

BILLINGSGATE POST: Turning away from secularism and its attendant hedonism, frightened beyond belief that the fickle finger of Coronavirus will point to them, descendants of the people who gathered together under Winston Churchill to defeat Hitler’s...

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Self-Isolating In His Gas Cupboard

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Self-Isolating In His Gas Cupboard

The Coronavirus has completed its first phase of infecting enough people to get humanity's attention, and is now in its second stage: sowing the seeds of fear into the population, and making them think the 'end of the world is nigh'. And so it was...

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Says United Can Still Do It

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Says United Can Still Do It

There were wild celebrations at Old Trafford on Sunday afternoon, in what was Manchester United's third victory over their city rivals Manchester City this season, but there was confusion during the post-match press conference when captain, Harry Mag...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Fans Starting To Get Fed Up Of Harry Maguire

Manchester United: Fans Starting To Get Fed Up Of Harry Maguire

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender who joined the Reds in an £80million deal last July, is one of the most popular footballers in the world at the moment, but that hasn't stopped some 'journalists' chuntering about the amount of pr...

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire In Twitter Confusion

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire In Twitter Confusion

Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has said he is doing everything possible to get fit for the Derby match, but this was confusing, as the Derby match has already been played, on Wednesday, United having won 3-0. Talking about things that a...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Harry Maguire Reveals His First Job Was Making Sausages

Manchester United: Harry Maguire Reveals His First Job Was Making Sausages

We all have secrets in our past that we may be either ashamed or embarrassed about, but Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, has no such concerns about his past, and yesterday revealed that, after leaving school, he had a pa...

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Funny story: Scoop: Coronavirus Way Bigger Than Harry Maguire

Scoop: Coronavirus Way Bigger Than Harry Maguire

BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that it has been established that neither Harry Maguire nor England is the center of the universe, one must reach back in history to uncover any event more devastating to the status quo than the Coronavirus. With zombies be...

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Funny story: Liverpool Want Harry Maguire In Summer After Watford Defensive Disaster

Liverpool Want Harry Maguire In Summer After Watford Defensive Disaster

Rumours emanating from Anfield this morning are that Liverpool will seek to strengthen their defence in the summer, after their present back four was 'taken to the cleaners' in yesterday's 3-0 defeat at Watford. They will be making a serious £100m...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Captain Harry Maguire Says Club Bruges Spelling Is Ridiculous

Manchester United: Captain Harry Maguire Says Club Bruges Spelling Is Ridiculous

Manchester United go into their Europa League last-32 second-leg game against Club Bruges at Old Trafford tonight, with a slight advantage, after their 1-1 draw in Belgium last week gave them an important away goal, but the big news is that the Red D...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Concedes His Team Cannot Win PL Title

Manchester United: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Concedes His Team Cannot Win PL Title

Manchester United manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, has spoken to reporters about the disappointment he experienced this morning, when he went downstairs to make his breakfast, picked up a newspaper to read the football pages, and realised that his team...

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Funny story: Pancake Day Latest: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Is Going Round To His Mum's House Later

Pancake Day Latest: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Is Going Round To His Mum's House Later

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender who cost United £80million when he joined them last summer, has confirmed he will be going round to his mum's house on Tuesday, for a special Pancake Day treat. According to Maguire...

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Turn Out For Local Sunday League Team On Sunday Morning

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Turn Out For Local Sunday League Team On Sunday Morning

Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, is in hot water with team coach, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, this morning, after he let it be known that he plans to turn out for a local Sunday League team at the weekend. Maguire, 26, incurred the Norwegian's...

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Be Issued With Retrospective Red Card

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Be Issued With Retrospective Red Card

Controversy was the name of the game at Stamford Bridge last night, as Chelsea were beaten 2-0 by Manchester United in a match totally controversialised by the VAR system. After Martial had given the visitors a first-half lead, Chelsea's Zouma had...

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Funny story: Manchester United Sign Several Players Late On Transfer Deadline Day

Manchester United Sign Several Players Late On Transfer Deadline Day

Manchester United flexed their not inconsiderable financial muscles last night, just minutes before the deadline on the transfer market window, securing the signatures of a host of footballing superstars, none of whom I have ever heard of. The fir...

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Funny story: John Bolton To Replace Ole Gunnar Solskjaer As Manager of Manchester United

John Bolton To Replace Ole Gunnar Solskjaer As Manager of Manchester United

BILLINGSGATE POST: Rumors of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s demise as manager of Manchester United’s troubled team have been circulating for months. Just last week, crack Spoof reporter, Monkey Woods, predicted Ole would soon be beating the bricks looking f...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Scores His First Goal For Manchester United

Harry Maguire Scores His First Goal For Manchester United

The strong tradition of FA Cup giantkilling, and fans' love of an upset were not uppermost in Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire's thoughts this afternoon, when, after only 11 minutes of the FA Cup 4th-round tie against Tran...

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