Harry Maguire Debunked By Battlin' Bohunk From Beaver Crossing

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 9 August 2019

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BILLINGSGATE POST: In a fight touted to be a walkover for Harry Maguire, the “Battlin' Bohunk” from Beaver Crossing, the redoubtable Slim Everdingle, threw the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy from Leicester City out of the ring in a winner-take-all bout staged in Madison Square Garden last night.

Wearing his trademark white tee-shirt and Dickies Short Sleeve Mechanics Coverall ensemble, which provided a generous fit in the shoulders and chest, he easily trounced the cocky Maguire, who pranced and pirouetted around the ring like a pencil-neck poltroon.

The disciplined Everdingle had the advantage from the start. His coveralls were exquisitely tailored, their bi-swing back and elastic waist inserts provided him with the flexibility to close on Maguire, despite the Golden Boy’s dancing ability.

It was all over after Round Two, with Maguire unable to climb back into the ring after being thrown into the cheap seats by Everdingle. Unlike the historic bout between Heavy Weight Champion, Jack Dempsey, aka; the Manassa Mauler, and Luis “Angel” Firpo In 1923, also in Madison Square Garden, there was no heroic ending.

Post Fight Interview: "Harry. You got your ass kicked, big league."

Harry: "He was a stallion."

Slim Everdingle: “He didn’t belong in the same ring with me.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Loved his tights. Ballet might be his game.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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