Osama Bin Laden Will Attend Reagan Funeral
Washington (AP) Osama Bin Laden is going to try to attend Ronald Reagan's funeral this week. The CIA reports a high level of chatter on several Middle East channels that indicate the terrorist leader will alter his appearance in order to show up with...Read full story
Josama Bin Biden Tells Barack Hussein Obama Not To Take Out Osama Bin Laden
BILLINGSGATE POST - Vice President Josama Bin Biden confessed this weekend that he advised President Barack Hussein Obama not to launch the mission that ultimately killed Osama Bin Laden. Whew! That was a tongue twister. During remarks to fell...Read full story
Not Tickle Me Elmo, but Tickle Me Bin Laden
Washington, USA. A Navy SEAL involved in the top secret operation to assassinate Osama Bin Laden has revealed that the Al Quaeda leader was not shot as popularly believed but in fact tickled to death. Jake Greibless IV was recruited by the SEALs beca...Read full story
CIA Reveals Satan Met With Bin Laden in 2001, Is Harboring Terrorists in Hell
WASHINGTON, DC-- George Bush has been having trouble Proving Osama Bin Laden met with Saddam Hussein, but top CIA officials this week revealed that they have uncovered proof the Al Qaeda leader had met with Satan, (AKA Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, Be...Read full story
President Bush Pardons Osama Bin Laden, Iran, Syria, Hezzbollah, Yassar Arafat, Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Ill and Princess Diana
APE Line - President Bush today shocked the world with another unexpected Pardon, this time to arch enemy Osama Bin Laden, Iran, Syria, Hezzbollah, Yassar Arafat, Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Ill and Princess Diana.Read full story
Osama Bin Laden Captured, Found In U.S. Army
FORT BENNING, GEORGIA-- The Bush administration received yet another shocking blow today when, it was discovered today that Osama Bin Laden has been in the United States Army this entire time ever since September 11th.Read full story
Maury: DNA Confirms Osama bin Laden Killed. Also, He IS The Father...
In light of the government's need to save money wherever possible -- bullet-proof military vests made of Pepsi cans, Mexican day-laborers as legislative aids, etc.-- President Obama asked Mary Povich, host of the Maury Show, to check the DNA of the m...Read full story
Bin Laden releases new video
Global terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden has released a new video, in which he moans about the West again. "We should return to a simpler and more peaceful time and live the lifestyle that the prophet Mohammed led in the 7th century," he said, car...Read full story
Bin Laden Wants Puppet Regime Too
Criminal mastermind Osama Bin Laden says Iraq has a puppet regime, and he wants one as well.Read full story
Bush Taps Bin Laden for FEMA Post
Washington, DC -- President Bush has appointed Osama Bin Laden to fill the vacant seat as the head of FEMA. To rebut recent charges of bungling and mismanagement in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, President Bush wanted a "take charge kinda guy&qu...Read full story
Al Qaeda Colon Bomb Forces Universal Airport Colonoscopies
Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't President Obama say that he had decimated Al Qaeda? Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't President Obama kill Al Qaeda head Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda Yemen head Anwar al Awlaki? So what's with the news that the CIA just foiled an Al Qaeda bomb plot in Yemen to blow up a US airplane over One World Trade Center with a non metallic bomb inserted inside the colon of...Read full story
Bin Laden, Hillary Clinton Connection Suspected In Emails
Republican politicians claim Hillary Clinton had a love connection with Osama Bin Laden and define her as a serial traitor. High five! They insist this information can be verified in the 31,000 emails exchanged while she was Secretary of State and why she is holding fast to that server. Reliable sources revealed Hillary was in the process of divorcing Bill to marry Osama Bin Laden, (or...Read full story
Last Refuge House Reveals More Shocking Bin Laden Secrets
US officials, trawling through the last personal remnants of terror leader Osama Bin Laden at his hideaway in Abbottabad, have made yet more shocking discoveries about the man. In an un-mailed letter the bearded chief of hate claims he * Did...Read full story
Guess Who The Last Guest Will Be On The Last Oprah Winfrey Show?
Due to the sudden demise of Oprah Winfrey's last scheduled guest on her soon-to-be-history eponymous TV show, she has once again pulled another PR coup. "We were all set with Mr. bin Laden," said Ms. Winfrey. "His people had it all worked out wit...Read full story
Bush: "Put Santa on Terrorist Watch List!"
(Washington, D.C.) The Washington Post today released sections of a memo from George Bush to Directors of Homeland Security and CIA, Michael Cherthoff and Michael Hayden that was written on November 19, 2007. It begins, "I just pardoned the turk...Read full story
Bin Laden Says Michael Moore's New Film "Numero Uno"
Osama bin Laden, the evil arch-criminal who is currently thought to be hiding somewhere in Afghanistan, took a break from being a wanted fugitive terrorist for a few hours recently to attend a private viewing of Michael Moore's new film, "F...Read full story