Clairvoyant Cockroach Predicts End Of Mayan Civilization

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 14 June 2019

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A SURVIVOR

BILLINGSGATE POST: If you live long enough, the odds are that you should be right about something at least once. If the World should end tomorrow, somehow, at least one cockroach would survive.

These two statements can run parallel to each other or stand alone. And that is exactly why, when Clarence, the clairvoyant cockroach speaks, only a fool would not listen.

Check the record. Clarence successfully predicted the winner of the last 13 Super Bowls, with points. He also predicted Donald Trump to defeat Hillary. So when Clarence speaks, people listen.

The subject of the Mayans predicting the end of the World has always caused fearful speculation and anticipation. Their dire prediction of an apocalypse in 2012 did not bear fruit. However, Doomsday believers might have misinterpreted the Mayans. Rather than chasing death on their calendar, they might have been seeking rebirth.

Enter Clarence. He has survived creeping socialism, the Ice Age, nuclear bombs, climate change, DDT and Osama bin Laden. Adept at traversing both filthy sewer mazes and dodging poop piles on San Francisco sidewalks, cockroaches will walk the Earth long after Homo sapiens disappears on Facebook .

Clarence: “Mayans outa here in double overtime. Book it Dano.”

Slim: “Long live the lowly cockroach.”

Dirty: “Yo Dude. You gotta love the dirty bastards.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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