SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – This year’s San Francisco Transgender Beauty Pageant was held at the famed Sidesaddle Coliseum in Chinatown.
The event, in it’s 27th year, has become the premier transgender pageant in the entire nation.
Contestants participated from every state in the union, except for Alabama, which has no transgenders.
This year the judges panel included RuPaul, Ellen DeGeneres, Anderson Cooper, Rosie O’Donnell, and gay Republican rapper, Black Kitty Meow Meow.
The contestants participated in five categories, the talent contest, the swish and sway contest, the swimsuit contest, the margarita-making contest, and the Daisy Duke short shorts-wearing contest.
Security had to be called during the margarita-making contest when the contestant from Cincinnati said that the contestant from Fire Island, New York was wearing an illegal brand of lipstick.
Fire Island tossed her avocado margarita at Cincinnati causing her to trip over the pageant's master of ceremonies British singer Elton John.
Elton fell to the ground striking his head on a skateboard, and he had to be given mouth-to-mouth by Rosie O’Donnell, which was not a pretty site; especially since Rosie bit Elton’s lower lip.
The trans contestant from San Francisco, SFPD Detective Archibald “Annie” Buffabush, 32, won four of the five categories.
She lost the talent contest to the contestant from Pocatello, Idaho , who talked, sang, looked, and even smelled exactly like Celine Dion.
SIDENOTE: Infomation guru, Andy Cohen wants to dispel the rumor that Black Kitty Meow Meow and Anderson Cooper were holding hands underneath the judge's table.