BULOXI, Mississippi - (Entertainment Satire) - The New Orleans Recorder-Chronicle has just revealed that the Miss Pussywillow, Mississippi contestant Mandy Mills has been disqualified. According to reporter Bacardi Cheyenne, Miss Mills told one of…
Since his days owning the Miss Universe Pageant, Donald Trump misses being surrounded by beautiful women still in their twenties, since his wife and daughters are getting older. But since no one can turn back the clock, Donny J. has decided to st…
SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – This year’s San Francisco Transgender Beauty Pageant was held at the famed Sidesaddle Coliseum in Chinatown. The event, in it’s 27th year, has become the premier transgender pageant in the entire nation. Contesta…
Gossip News: Controversy erupted at the Miss Galaxy Beauty Pageants on Sunday, when the second-place winner, Munter Swift, took the crown off the winner's head and claimed she was too pretty and therefore ineligible to take part. Julie Bell was na…
BOSTON, Massachusetts – The officials with the Miss Massachusetts Beauty Pageant regret that they are having to cancel this year’s state beauty contest. Pageant director, Meryl "Gams" Kinderhook, 46, informed the media that, during the all-nude bo…
MIAMI BEACH, Florida - The Miss USA Pageant officials have said that there are no plans to cancel or postpone this year's beauty contest. The pageant producers stated that they just have way too much money invested in the show to just simply say ‘...
Earlier today, St. Jude Children’s Hospital confirmed that they will be debuting their much anticipated “Little Miss Cancer Pageant”. Children under the age of sixteen are encouraged to sign up prior to the December 1st deadline, so long as they are...
An investigation into the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant has revealed that contestants are always from planet earth. Years of documents going back to the event's inception have reportedly been uncovered, all of which show a consistent pattern of exclus...
New York, NY - A chorus of former beauty queens in Donald Trump sponsored beauty pageants today held a press conference to address charges of sexual harassment against the Republican Presidential Candidate. "We are here to say that Donald Trump...
Big Chimney, WV From the campaign trail, Trump took aim at terrorism Saturday morning at 3 a.m. Apparently, 1996 Miss Universe Alicia Machado, who Trump likes to refer to as "Miss Piggy," needed taking down so as to prevent her from committing terror...
Miss Algeria Sharifa Boudine has told the organisers of the Miss Hands-Around-The-World competition that she cannot attend because she will not be allowed to wear traditional Moslem style dress which features Burqu'ua. Madamoiselle Boudine said to...
In an ill-advised attempt to win the Ms. Californicate Beauty Contest, Chanelle Bigguns whipped off her bikini top, flashing the judges with not one, but (count 'em!) both, of her beautiful, bouncing boobs. She claimed that her tactic was "a wardr...
London - "We've been asked to take off our undies and sit on a photocopier," a peeved Miss Australia said today, "to prove our gender without the rubber glove test." She and 99 other lovelies from all over the world are also being given the option...
BOGATA -- Paola Builes Aristzabal, who won the title of Miss Antioquia by showing off her curvaceous figure, was "shocked" to learn that she has been disqualified as a contestant in the Miss Columbia beauty pageant. Judges stripped the naughty Mis...
"Inner Make-Over" - best selling book by Jeremy Enditstein that was recently featured on the Oprah Winfrey show has now launched itself as an American franchise. Said director of the new found company appropriately called INNER-MAKE-OVER "the company is built squarely on Jeremy's philosophy of inner renewal. It involves all aspects of retrieving a sense of worth and self-respect leading to greater...
How I got kicked out of Divinity School, Lost my virginity and won the Vietnam War Or God's own warrior wins the piece It all begins with the war in Vietnam, my story does. I was in high school in Charleston, West Virginia and was faced with the inevitable for a young man in the United States during the late 1960's: the Selective Service Act or the Draft. I had not thought too much abou...
Heather Fields, 24, of Shanklin has put the Isle of Wight on the map thanks to her nails! In the National Nail Championships held at Birmingham's NEC Arena, Heather competed among the country's finest nail growers. "It's such an honour," said H...
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