PHOENIX, Arizona – (Satire News) – The 30 contestants who were to have participated in the 2021 Arizona Beauty Pageant have just found out that the pageant has been cancelled. Pageant coordinator, Yarvonna Pumpkinstone, 51, told the news media tha…
NEWARK, New Jersey – (Spoof News) - Officials with the New Jersey Miss America Beauty Pageant have just announced that the 1957 winner, Daniella Quistowitz, has been disqualified. Pageant spokesperson Kitty Muskogee apologized to the contestants w…
T&A City, Nude Joisey--Ms. Virginia advanced in the Ms. Amerika Contest after her politically correct, although sexist, response to the National Foosball League (NFL) controversy concerning players who “take a knee” during the playing of the US n...
It was okay for Gretchen Carlson to strut her stuff onstage during the 1989 Miss America Beauty Pageant, but that was a looonnnnnngggggggg time ago. Carlson, who was born (some say spawned) in 1966, was only 29 then, and she had, according to the jud...
Saudi Arabia, somewhere in the desert: Jaggedone sent his pet CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) Desert Rat Reporters to observe the annual 'Camel Beauty Contest" and brother did it "Rommel!" After parading their beautiful beasts to the jury it see...
An investigation into the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant has revealed that contestants are always from planet earth. Years of documents going back to the event's inception have reportedly been uncovered, all of which show a consistent pattern of exclus...
Las Vegas NV- "I made a terrible mistake tonight in announcing the wrong winner and runner-up for the Miss Universe pageant. I know how much pride many countries, fans and most importantly, the contestants take in preparing for this night. I hope tha...
Miss Algeria Sharifa Boudine has told the organisers of the Miss Hands-Around-The-World competition that she cannot attend because she will not be allowed to wear traditional Moslem style dress which features Burqu'ua. Madamoiselle Boudine said to...
BOGATA -- Paola Builes Aristzabal, who won the title of Miss Antioquia by showing off her curvaceous figure, was "shocked" to learn that she has been disqualified as a contestant in the Miss Columbia beauty pageant. Judges stripped the naughty Mis...
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Reports coming out of North Korea are that Kim Jong Un is fit to be tied and he will get to the bottom of the latest sex scandal. The Rice Paddy News Agency of North Korea reported that they received a video tape in the ma...
HOLLYWOOD - Alana Thompson, better known as Honey Boo Boo, was in Tinsel Town for an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Leno asked her if she had found a boyfriend yet. The little Southern beauty pageant queen giggled and said that she...
DENVER - The Rocky Mountain State has just announced that it will be hosting one of the best beauty pageants in the history of beauty pageants. Representatives with Colorado's 1st Annual Miss Marijuana Beauty Pageant have said that all of the page...
ATLANTA - The star of the television reality series, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Alana Thompson has just received another of her many beauty pageant awards. The little girl from McIntyre, Georgia who turned 8, on August 28, 2013, entered the Cutest...
CRANBERRY, Pennsylvania - The 2012 contestant who represented the state of Pennsylvania in The Miss USA Beauty Pageant, Sheena Monnin has just had the surprise of her fake smile life. Miss Monnin [Pronounced MOAN-IN] has been ordered by a judge to...
LOS ANGELES, CA - Move over, Gwyneth Paltrow! The controversial "actress" and avowed herbivore was recently bestowed with the title of People Magazine's 'Most Attractive Woman' for 2013. Now, the magazine that defines the standards of the glamor li...
HOLLYWOOD - Pipe Dream Films in association with La Hacienda Pictures has just informed the entertainment media that Clint Eastwood has just been signed to direct a motion picture starring seven-year-old Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson. The movie i...
South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley and Alaska Governor Sara Palin have teamed up and issued a challenge for a beauty contest amongst Democrat and Republican Women. Contestants will vie for a coveted position in politics for their respective part...
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