BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – The rumors swirling around Baltimore are that former White House aide to the one-term president Donald John Trump, Hope Hicks, has confided to her hairdresser that she wants to have DJT’s baby in the worst way.
One has to wonder what exactly 'in the worst way means.' Info guru Andy Cohen said that even he, who knows everything about everyone, said that he is stumped beyond belief as to what 'in the worst way' actually means.
Meanwhile, Melania has heard about Hope’s wish and she said that as far as she is concerned, she can take her orange piece of shit husband, and boink him till his orange hair turns purple.
She then added that it will be extremely difficult for Miss Hope to become pregnant from Donaldo since, as she explicitly pointed out, he is now suffering from second-degree erectile dysfunction, which Melania blames totally on his penchant to lie, and lie, and lie a bunch more.
Holiday Note. China has cancelled all of their October Rice Festivals due to the extreme rice shortage.