MAR-a-Lago, Florida – (Satire News) – Anderson Cooper is reporting that he recently texted Melania Trump and she informed him that her ‘Alice in Wonderland’ husband is now claiming that the IRS owes him a refund of $13.9 trillion (with a T).
Melania says that for the past seven nights, Donaldo has only had a total of 37 minutes sleep.
She says that he is now drinking up to 14 bottles of Diet Coke a day and as a result he has to get up at least 9 times a night to empty his orange-colored bladder.
Melania told Cooper that he has the pee stream of a three-year-old. She laughed and said that half the time he is so sleepy, that he completely misses the toilet and ends up getting piss all over the floor, the walls, and on his red MAGA bikini underwear.
In Other News. BuzzFuzz is reporting that Trump is so cheap, he has asked his youngest daughter Tiffany to repay the $17,000 college loan he lent her.