Houston Astros Super Star Jose Altuve To Record A Hip Hop Song

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 31 July 2021

image for Houston Astros Super Star Jose Altuve To Record A Hip Hop Song
Jose says that his hip hop groupies call themselves "Las Joselitas."

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette has disclosed that Houston Astros future hall-of-famer Jose Altuve has just signed a contract with Round and Round Records to record a hip hop song.

The song is titled "Hey Baby, Look at My Balls," and was written by the soul music writing team of Tarzan Franklin and Jane Washington, who have commented that they have been involved in a sexual relationship since May 15, of 2019.

The writing duo known as Tarzan & Jane have written over 400 hip hop songs including "Yo Bro - Don't Bogart That Joint," "My Bitch She Be Bitchin' and Shit," and the Black Kitty Meow Meow top 10 hit, "Woke This."

Altuve, who is 31, told SBG’s Zorro La Bamba, that he first sang his first hip hop song when he was in a hip hop boy band back Los Muchachitos, back in Oil Slick, Venezuela.

La Bamba noted that the Jose Altuve Hip Hop Fan Club has 3.7 million members including Melania Trump, Taylor Swift, Mr. and Mrs. Blake Shelton (Gwen Stefani), and “Moscow” Mitch McConnell.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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