CHICAGO – (Satire News) - In the world of Erectile Dysfunction, sufferers have learned that the condition known as Limpnoodleohnoitis can be addressed. According to The Chicago Daily Wind Newspaper pecker limpness has come a long, long way. Dai…
MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - Ivanka Trump has told the members of the news media that she knows exactly why her father (The Racist Predator) is in such a horrible, mean, cruel, frustrated, evil mood. Ivanka, who is perhaps the only member of the T…
MOSCOW – (Satire News) – Russian president Vladimir Putin says that lately he has had a lot of stress. He noted that with the mess in the Ukraine, the shit storm in France, and now the uprising in Greenland, he hardly gets to sleep 55 minutes a ni…
President Vladimir Putin’s recent decision to force himself on Ukraine may in part be due to a rumored case of impotence. Western intelligence officials have speculated that as a way to compensate for his debilitating condition Putin has thrust his c…
MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – Melania secretly returned home to the “Big Apple” to get a break from their citrus-smelling Mar-a-Lago complex. Mel has told her racist husband, the Trumptard, that she hates living in the Plywood/Hurricane state becaus…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Alpha Beta News Agency has just confirmed that Senator Mitch “Turtle Face” McConnell has just filed a lawsuit against the makers of the penis hardening, Viagra-like pill, Up, Up, and Away. The lawsuit claims…
BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – The rumors swirling around Baltimore are that former White House aide to the one-term president Donald John Trump, Hope Hicks, has confided to her hairdresser that she wants to have DJT’s baby in the worst way. One has…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Hercules Condom Company is glad to announce that their brand new generic Viagra pill is now available to males who may be having erectile dysfunction issues. Valerie Sambula, 29, a spokeswoman for the company, s…
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The man who was once hailed as a hero, has now turned into the biggest laughing stock on the face of the earth. Rudy Giuliani, aka The Swamp Creature, has denied that he colluded with the Russians back in 2016. B…
BOSTON – (Sports Satire) – The district attorney of Boston has just made New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft one very happy man. The Pats owner was told that the charges stemming from his visit to the Asian House of Hornyism, and allegedly com…
SAN ANTONIO - Johnson & Johnson, makers of No More Tears, electrified the proceedings of the American Urological Association here yesterday by announcing the development of a drug that stops premature ejaculation in its tracks. That drug, dapoxe...
In a news conference held this morning in Louisburg, North Carolina, the maker of the erectile medication medication, Good & Plenty, the company announced that the Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg was indeed the writer of its on-line ads for...
In a surprise announcement this morning, the Gun Club of America GCA and the Pizzle Corporation, the manufacturer of erectile dysfunction medication announced a joint venture in which Pizzle will manufacture and the GCA will market a new product: Th...
NK - After last weeks failed missile launch hit Kim Jong Un in the zipper, he has been issuing coded messages. The NSA has finally decoded the messages. Dr. D. Phase of the NSA pubic relations department held a press conference today to release t...
A local husband received a rude awakening recently when trying to regain the affections of his wife of 20 years. The wife received a rude awakening via stinky morning breath. "I thought that my stamina and not being able to last had caused her t...
CHICAGO, Illinois (ABSNN) - "They test NFL players for performance enhancement drugs (PED's), but what they're looking for is steroids, not male enhancement drugs such as Viagra. They can stop us from bulking up, but not from getting laid," said Chi...
PYONGYANG, North Korea - With the entire world watching, North Korea's attempt to impress the world with the launch of a weather rocket went up in smoke like pretty much every attempt leader Kim Kong Un has made to have sex since taking over since hi...
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