DETROIT – (Satire News) – The most famous White House intern in history has told iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli that she wants for the former disgraced president, Donald J. Trump to stop texting her and telling her that she has the sweetest, most inviting mouth that he has ever seen; except for Hope Hicks’ mouth.
Monica, who is presently looking for a damn good paying job, said that at first she found DJT’s daily texts flattering, but lately he has been mentioning some weird shit, like Scandinavian sex toys, Peruvian drugs, and Big Macs.
Miss Lewinsky, who is 48, told Miss Vermicelli, that Trump asked her to join his 2024 presidential political campaign, and she denied saying that he will be sitting in Sing Sing Prison making license plates before Thanksgiving.
When Trump was asked for a comment on Miss Lewinsky’s remarks he turned as red as a Wyoming fire truck, and said he has never heard of Miss Lewinsky and noted that furthermore he wouldn’t know her if she snuck up behind him and groped his little tally whacker.
An Interesting Tidbit. Melania recently told her BFF Meghan Markle that she refers to Donaldo's pee-pee as "The Little Nazi."