SAN ANTONIO – (Satire News) – The Ipso Facto News Agency has announced that Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle have reached an agreement to purchase Taylor Swift’s Blue Tattoo Ranch.
The working cattle ranch is located just south of San Antonio, and was originally owned by country singer George Strait.
The sprawling ranch has a Clint Eastwood-style 4,000 square foot ranch house, which includes a state-of-the-art beauty salon.
Taylor Swift bought the Texas spread from Strait, who sadly had to sell it, when he found out his wife was allergic to prickly pear cactus, which is on 2,994 of the 3,000 acres.
Tay Tay loved the ranch and soon turned one of the three barns into an elaborate recording studio, where she recorded her hip hop album titled, “Hey Yo It’s Little Old Tay Tay.”
The unique ranch has a landing strip, a moonshine cellar, along with 600 head of Longhorn cattle, a herd of 42 horses, 114 goats, a trained hippo, and a family of mellow woodchucks that were purchased from the San Antonio Zoo.
When Taylor found out that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were looking to buy a working Texas ranch, she contacted them and they quickly agreed on the price tag, which is $24.7 million.
The price includes all the livestock, five four-wheelers, a dump truck, and 903 bottles of moonshine.