BUENOS AIRES, Argentina - (World Satire) - PETA has just announced that Argentina has just voted to ban the age old habit of branding cattle with a branding iron that is hotter than hell. A spokesperson for PETA (People for The Ethical Treatment o…
SAN ANTONIO – (Satire News) – The Ipso Facto News Agency has announced that Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle have reached an agreement to purchase Taylor Swift’s Blue Tattoo Ranch. The working cattle ranch is located just south of San Anton…
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Harry Reid has stated that he is fed up with one Cliven Bundy thinking that he is above the law. The House Majority Leader speaking to reporters said that the 67-year-old codger truly believes in his heart and mind that he is ri...
NORFOLK, Virginia - The executive director of a large animal welfare charity commented that due to the recent headlines involving cattle rancher Cliven Bundy her organization plans to revisit the age old practice of cattle branding. Ms. Mimosa Led...
RENO, Nevada - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid talked with Sinclair Petaluma of Political Salad Bar Magazine and expressed his disgust at the Cliven Bundy Circus. Reid remarked to Petaluma that he would like to know what the hell 67-year-old Bun...
NEW YORK CITY - Nevada cattle rancher Cliven Bundy has just about received more publicity than some of the cattleman of the Old West including John Chisum, Charles Goodnight, and Richard King, owner of the one million acre King Ranch in south Texas.
WASHINGTON, D.C. - American Spotlight Magazine is reporting that the 402 head of cattle that the Nevada Bureau of Land Management had confiscated from rancher Cliven Bundy were going to be sold to North Korea. President Obama had talked to a repre...
PHOENIX - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer contacted Nevada cattle rancher Cliven Bundy and told him that she is proud of him for standing up to the federal government. The dishwater blonde said that she may be a lame duck governor but deep down inside...
TOKYO - The government of Japan has just sent a message to the owner of one of the largest longhorn cattle ranches in the state of Texas about purchasing some cattle. The Japanese people have fallen in love with fajitas[Pronounced FA-HE-TUS], whic...
CARPINTERIA, California - Two of America's leading scientists were speaking at an assembly of Planetary Science students at Left Coast College. Dr. Heinrich Von Heinrich and Dr. Currington S. Clexweiser revealed an astounding fact to the students...
During the recent floods in Yorkshire, local farmer Henry Shawtass managed to keep his buttocks dry whilst rescuing sheep from his flooded fields. Mr Shawtass - who is only 5 ft tall - went back to borrow his wife's high-heeled wellington...
NORTH PLATTE, Nebraska - Texas Governor Rick Perry was up in Nebraska on a beef cattle selling business trip. The Lone Star state governor deals with one of the biggest steak providers in the entire nation Steaks 'R' Us. Governor Perry estimat...
Budget Airline, Cryan Air, are to introduce a new cattle class to their budget flights. Previously, first class on Cryan Air was getting leg room with your seat, now it is to be actually getting a seat. In an effort to increase dwindling profit...
The stakes in a stand off between Paraguayan kidnappers who snatched a local rancher have been upped this morning. The kidnappers are demanding over £3 million for the farmers release and have already called for thirty of his cattle to be given to...
Minneapolis, Minn. -- In an interview with a Twin Cities' radio station today, Minnesota rep. Michele Bachmann floated the idea of providing struggling American farmers with free feed and fertilizer consisting of ground up liberals. "It's a win/w...
While poorly educated societies living under constant fear of Mad Cow Disease and Avian Flu grapple with the concept of eating cloned beef, a Green approach for supplying the ever-increasing global market with meat products is receiving little attent...
The lowly coin started life in 3000BC by Egyptian slave-monkeys who needed a way to barter for drinks that their evil overlords would deny them. Back then, the 1 pence piece was formed with cattle dung and spittle, curved into a crude circular shape. Even now, some coins are made using dung and spittle - the 1 Euro coin is the best example.
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