Steven Gerrard Issues an Apology
Disgraced England Captain, Steven Gerrard, also of Liverpool, arrived back into England this morning to a hostile reception. Clamouring fans were demanding explanations not excuses from the captain and the manager, Fabio Capello. They were disappo...Read full story
Football Gossip: Nigerian Women, Hickman "Little Shit", Boothroyd Vote of Confidence
After photographic evidence emerged of Nigerian players seemingly protecting testicles while facing a free kick, FIFA has begun an investigation into allegations that Nigeria's Women's World Cup team may not be all it seems. Coventry City defender...Read full story
Beckham To Insist Upon Tottenham Kit Change
LA Galaxy star David Beckham is tonight said to be close to signing a loan deal with Premier League Tottenham Hotspur, but there are still a few details that need 'ironing out'. Primary amongst these is an issue with Spurs' kit. Beckham isn't keen...Read full story
VAR To Sort Out If England 1966 World Cup Goal Was In Or Not
VAR, the Video Assistant Referee, which has proved so successful in helping on-field officials reach correct decisions in football matches all over the world, is to be used to determine whether or not the ball had crossed the line in England's 1966 W...Read full story
Euro 2012: England prepare to fly home after Italy defeat
England players are today packing their suitcases and preparing to fly back home after the 4-2 penalty defeat to Italy last night. Ashley Cole and Ashley Young who both missed their crucial kicks, have already been offered a pizza advert, followin...Read full story
England fans derided as 'Pussies'
England fans have been labelled 'Pussies' by a senior footballing figure in the run up to their Euro 2012 opener v France The criticism comes after it was revealed that only 4,000 tickets to the Monday evening game had been sold and that the £40 f...Read full story
Confusion reigns as Fabio picks wrong squad
Fooball bosses admitted today that "terrible mistakes" had been made when announcing England's final 23 players for the World Cup Finals. Bosses blamed Fabio Capello's inability to communicate effectively in English for the fact that Boris Johnson...Read full story
Wayne Rooney 'annoyed' at England team mates & Fabio Capello. None of it his fault.
Wayne Rooney has been caught having an angry nipper tantrum in the privacy of his bedroom in Merseyside, England. The England squad returned to their country a day ago, after being thrashed 4-1 by Germany in the last 16 of the World Cup. Wayne Roo...Read full story
The Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Call Up
I know...I know what you’re thinking. How is it that after two years in the wilderness Gormless Gareth has seen the light and called me back into the squad? I’ll tell you how. Even GG knows class when he sees it and it’s when the going gets tough...Read full story
Giovanni Trapattoni: 'I'm Not God' - Fabio Capello: 'I am'
Giovanni Trapattoni stated recently "I'm Not God", although Republic Of Ireland are doing pretty well at the moment, qualifying for Euro 2012. When asked if Trapattoni was almighty and all that, 3 out of 4 of the potential squad for the Euros sai...Read full story
FIFA Boss Blatter Demands Goal Line Technology After England Win
Head of world football, Sepp Blatter, has finally accepted that the time is right to introduce goal-line technology (GLT) into the game following England's progress into the Euro 2012 quarter-finals last night. The FIFA president tweeted that he f...Read full story
The Secret England Footballer: First Round Tunisia Yessssssssss!
Would you Adam and Eve it? We only bloody did it. We bloody won a match. Harry, you're not the wuss I've been saying you are (not to your face, obviously). Hats off to the Tottenham mumbler. I always knew you were class. There was one downer for m...Read full story
German team arrested for cheating England in world cup
Last night the whole German team was under arrest for the most dastardly plan to deny the wonderful English team their place in the world cup. As the German team was at Johannesburg airport the ball used in the match set off bomb sensors. When the...Read full story