David Beckham, the England footballer, had members of the Press in stitches yesterday at the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympic Games, where he was appearing solely for the purpose of kicking a football once from the top of a London double-decker bus.
Beckham revealed a hitherto-unknown side to his persona when he kept a wildly excited bunch of reporters entertained by his all-new comedy act, in which he told a great joke. This is it:
"I want to manage the Great Britain football team".
Journalists fell about laughing, some so heartily, that they had to be given First Aid, but none were seriously hurt, and all were released from hospital later.
Beckham, who was paid £100,000 to appear in Beijing, has never before shown an interest in management, and some experts believe it might be an idea if he embarked upon a coaching course first, and attempted to get an FA Coaching Badge before taking on the monumental task of bringing together four separate football teams, and seamlessly and harmoniously cementing them into one.
One reporter, Harry Enscombe, of the Daily Bullshit, said:
"He thinks like a footballer. He's insane. Brain in his arse!"
