Written by Mister Meaner

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

image for Belarus Side Includes Three Terrorists
England's leading terrorist

England are expecting an explosive encounter in tomorrow afternoon's Group 6 World Cup qualifier against Belarus in Minsk, after it was revealed that three of their opponents are known terrorists.

Andrei Mahmood, Karim Almunij and Tarkem Melshesh are all listed on the Metropolitan Police Anti-terrorism Branch list of suspects wanted for questioning over various terrorble offences.

This is in addition to the fact that the Belarus coach, German Bernd Strange, is the former coach of Iraq.

Sacked by Hertha Berlin over accusations of spying on his players for the secret police, Strange put himself in the line of fire during his time as national coach of Iraq.

"My car was shot at," he told BBC Sport. "I had death threats because there was a picture in the newspaper of me with the British foreign minister Jack Straw and 5,000 footballs that he had given us.

"A photo of me with the mortal enemy! After that I had to leave the country."

Despite his 'connection' with Britain, Strange was still able to secure the Belarus post, and has been busy assembling a terror cell in Minsk, capable of undermining any of the main European powers, and establishing Belarus as a major threat to the West.

England manager Fabio Capello has said he isn't concerned by the rumours, but the FA have asked him to leave Ashley Cole out of the squad for 'security reasons'.

Said Capello:

"We don't worry about Belarus. We have terrorists of our own."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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