Don't Tell Putin, But...
Don't tell Vladimir Putin, but he is losing his war in Ukraine. Quoting the John Cleese line to Kevin Kline about the Vietnam war in the film, A Fish Called Wanda: "I'm tellin' ya baby, they kicked your little ass there. Boy, they whooped yer hide RE…
Read full storyThe BBC Reports That PM Liz Truss Has Just Commissioned The Building of The UK Aircraft Carrier, "The King Charles III"
LONDON - (UK Satire) - The senior reporter with the BBC, Tyrus Bottomfiddle, recently chatted with PM Liz Truss in her office at 10 Downing Street. The new prime minister told Bottomfiddle that she is enjoying every minute of leading Europe's numb…
Read full storyThe Reason Why Russia's All-Girl Heavy Metal Band Is Sitting In a Brooklyn Jail
BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - The Cloud 9 News Agency reports that the all-girl heavy metal band from Russia is sitting in jail. According to writer Lexi Aspen, the band members made some very nasty comments regarding VP Kamala Harris having some kin…
Read full storyLiz Truss is Hiding in the Fridge
Following a monumentally bad week, even by modern conservative standards, British Prime Minister Liz Truss has spent the past few days hiding in a fridge. The purveyor of Beijing Pork Markets, who has changed her political affiliations more than D…
Read full storyA Tourist From Georgia Alleges That Trump Grabbed His Pee-Pee
PALM BEACH, Florida - (Satire News) - A 69-year-old man from Valdosta, Georgia, says that he is alleging that Donald Trump molested him by grabbing his pee-pee as he was waiting in line at a McDonalds in Palm Beach. Dexter Ruffinger, who went to t…
Read full storyWinter Jumper Getting Used to Your New Body Shape
Your favourite Winter Jumper needs a bit of time to get used to your new shape. Yes, in the nine months since you have worn it, the green and blue striped jumper that you bought from Burtons Menswear nine years ago is yet to get to grips with the…
Read full storyMelania Trump Tells Donaldo He Can Have Stormy (Daniels) Because She's Got LeBron (James)
MANHATTAN - (Satire News) - iRumors writer Vodka Vermicelli has just informed her readers that Melania Trump texted her and told her that she told Stormy Daniels that she can NOW have her estranged "Husbandt," Donaldo. Melly, as LeBron (James) aff…
Read full storyWill "The Coward Ambusher" Smith Finally Admits That His Wife Is In Fact a Certified Midget
LA BREA, California - (Satire News) - The biggest coward in the nation, since Donald Trump, who claimed that he had bone spurs in his tongue, to avoid getting his fat ass drafted and sent to Vietnam is Will "The Coward Ambusher" Smith. Smith has b…
Read full storyPetition still not making a difference
An online petition signed by more than 13 people has made absolutely no difference to the world, we can reveal. The petition the colour of cellophane, the size of Pickled onions or another equally tedious subject has been forwarded to the body in…
Read full storyThat actor in that thing, now playing someone older in another thing
Kevin Morrisey, a vaguely attractive action star from your youth, is now playing a slightly old version in a very similar programme that starts next week. As the Maverick cop in the programme you watched with your mates at university he was quick…
Read full storyRich people to be given free money to help boost the economy by “trickle down”
The British government today announced that millionaires and people who earn tons of money will be given free money, cars, fridges and holidays, to enable them to use the money saved to help the poorer in society. Richie the Rich told our reporter…
Read full storyGood-bye-ee, there’s a silver lining in the sky-ee!
With the passing of an elderly woman via the natural ageing process it would appear that the UK has gone into total subservient mourning mode. Due to the sheer volume of mourners and the proposed three year mourning period it has caused some conc…
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