LA BREA, California - (Satire News) - The biggest coward in the nation, since Donald Trump, who claimed that he had bone spurs in his tongue, to avoid getting his fat ass drafted and sent to Vietnam is Will "The Coward Ambusher" Smith.
Smith has become the most hated person by the American people since the likes of Hitler, Hirohito, Ted Cruz, Joseph Manchin, Marsha "The Racist Witch" Blackburn, and of course TRUMP (himself)!
Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle pointed out that "Willard" as his alcoholic aunt LaGertina Flo Fuxxfeen, 77, calls him, is so despised that he cannot even get a job working at the drive thru window at McDonalds.
The yellow-bellied, Zimbabwean bastard, as comedian and talk show host Ricky Gervais calls him, has finally (FINALLY) admitted that his 4-foot-4-inch wife, Jada Mintoola Pinkett Smith is in fact a midget; and a certified circus midget at that.
SIDENOTE: At first Smith simply lied and tried to convince people that Jada wasn't really short, and he blamed it on things like the lighting, the angle, and the fact that she had so much cellulite all over her body, that it made her look like she was a Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Baily Circus dwarf.
