Your favourite Winter Jumper needs a bit of time to get used to your new shape.
Yes, in the nine months since you have worn it, the green and blue striped jumper that you bought from Burtons Menswear nine years ago is yet to get to grips with the middle-aged spread you have developed.
'He never used to be like this' said the unnamed woollen jumper 'but there are curves I can't remember, and the stomach is slightly bouncier than it used to be.'
It is not your fault, but we are all in a different shape from what we all were nine years ago. It might be time for a new favourite jumper that will see you through another decade, the decade when you can actually give up on fashion and caring about your appearance.
