With the passing of an elderly woman via the natural ageing process it would appear that the UK has gone into total subservient mourning mode.
Due to the sheer volume of mourners and the proposed three year mourning period it has caused some concern, not least with the BBC TV who, at present are cancelling anything that moves in favour of umpteen never ending tributes to an old lady who died of natural causes!
Weekly soaps are backing up like uncollected rubbish during a bin strike and the never ending TV reporters who are compelled to wear black are threatening to strike for higher mourning suit/dress and underwear payment.
One would be striker told us that she only had one black ensemble which she kept for special occasions, such as family funerals and, when she was lucky, the occasional black mass sex orgy or annual BBC Christmas Party.
“Let’s face it” she went on, “other than the afore mentioned all my underwear is colourful, who wants to wear black these days….unless one strikes lucky that is!”
“Frankly, I have had enough” she moaned, “since the demise of this old lady, by way of natural causes,I have not been able to change my dress or knickers for over a week and quite frankly my dear, my snatch reeks.
Then there are the cum stains down the front of my dress due in no small part to a rather botched blow job with my producer in the staff room, I am fed up trying to hide them behind the microphone when constantly reporting outside.
If the BBC must devote so much time to the demise of an elderly woman who died of natural causes then they simply haven’t to increase our clothing allowance.
After all have you seen the bloody price of those Ann Summers black open crotch panties these days, and I positively draw the line at wearing clit chafing Primark crap!
God if we don’t strike and win this fight my panties will be standing up on their own in a couple of years!”
One well known male reporter who wishes to remain anonymous informed us that his one pair of black Calvin Klein Boxers are now more crusty than his wank sock!
