The Trojan Horse Condom Company Is Now Marketing Tiny Condoms For Males With Micro-Penises
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The nation’s leading prophylactic (condom) manufacturer has just announced a new condom that it has just put out on the market. The condom is extremely tiny and Trojan Horse representative Peter P. Pillowitz, 52, said tha…
Read full storyWigwam Toffee Hammer at the top of Spotify's Folk Metal Playlist
Avant-garde heavy metal madrigal band Wigwam Toffee Hammer is currently sitting high up the charts on Spotify. At number one for the third week in a row, the five-piece, led by former Clematis Wilt member Butch Arpeggio are said to be delighted th…
Read full storyCalifornia May Allow Betting on Criminal Trials
Sacramento, CA - Recognizing that the current state budget surplus was the result of unusual federal grants during the pandemic and that next year's budget will be billions short, California governor Gavin Newsom is considering a proposal that would…
Read full storyThe Detroit Lions Are Thinking About Moving To Calgary, Canada
DETROIT - (Sports Satire) – Two NFL teams are tied for the worst won-loss record in the NFL. Sports Bet Gazette senior writer Zorro La Bamba stated that the two teams were the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Detroit Lions, who had abysmally identical…
Read full storyThe Orgasmic Oregonians To Be Lady Gaga’s Opening Act
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Lady Gaga has just announced the name of the band who will be her opening act on her upcoming summer tour, “The Gaga’s Gonna Get Ya Summer Tour.” The band, which hails from Beaver Lips, Oregon was formed on the campus o…
Read full storyThe Damn Good Reason Why Dubai’s Annual Camel Races Have Been Cancelled
DUBAI, India – (Satire News) – The yearly Dubai Camel Races have been cancelled due to the fact that four of the camels tested positive for hump enhancing drugs. A spokesperson for the racing association noted that the camels appeared to look fine…
Read full storyPittsburgh Steelers Ben Roethlisberger Retires and Plans To Open Up A Video Porn Shop
PITTSBURGH – (Sports Satire) – “Big Ben” played for the Pittsburgh Steelers for 18 seasons. Roethlisberger stood 6 ft. 5 ins. and weighed 241, and he was extremely hard hard to bring down without the use of a taser. In fact several opposing def…
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