The Detroit Lions Are Thinking About Moving To Calgary, Canada

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 29 January 2022

image for The Detroit Lions Are Thinking About Moving To Calgary, Canada
A disgruntled Lions fan had this sports shirt printed up.

DETROIT - (Sports Satire) – Two NFL teams are tied for the worst won-loss record in the NFL.

Sports Bet Gazette senior writer Zorro La Bamba stated that the two teams were the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Detroit Lions, who had abysmally identical (3-13) records.

Both teams saw their average attendance numbers dip by as much as 73%.

The Jags even gave every fan free admission on a first come, first served basis for the season's last game; and still only 2,903 fans showed up and out of those about 82% were homeless.

Meanwhile the Detroit Lions had a late season “All The Free Beer You Can Drink” promotion, and they only drew 3,713 fans, with over half being kids, who of course do not drink beer.

The owner of the Lions, Shelia Ford Hamp, has made it known that she is looking into moving the Lions out of Motown and up to Calgary, Canada.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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