A Philadelphia Pole Dancer is The Nation's First Female To Receive An Artificial Vagina, An Artificial Hymen, and Artificial Sex Hormones
PHILADELPHIA – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News is reporting that a woman in the City of Brotherly Love has just become the country’s very first woman to have what is being touted as intimate tri-surgery. Venus Guffanski, who dances under the stage…
Read full storyOne in Five Americans is Heavily Drinking Alcohol
One in five Americans is heavily drinking alcohol, according to a new survey conducted by The Harris Poll, one of the top analytics firms. And it appears Covid may be part of the reason. The study was commissioned by an Irish biopharmaceutical compan…
Read full storySentences That Can Be Interpreted In Two Completely Opposite Ways
Sometime a sentence can mean exactly the opposite of what the speaker or writer intended. That's due in part to conflicting meanings that many words have or the way the sentence is phrased. Here are some prime examples: On the last day of the se…
Read full storyDonald Trump Says That Ivanka Told Him He Better Get His Ass Into The Witness Protection Program Immediately If Not Sooner
MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – Word filtering out of the Ivanka Trump household is that Trump’s favorite child is worried as shit that her daddio, as she has called him since she was 8, will soon be locked up for a long, long time. Ivanka recently sp…
Read full storyA Man is Arrested For Selling a Hurricane Insurance Policy to An Elderly Couple in Wyoming
CHEYENNE, Wyoming – (Satire News) – In the unscrupulous department, an insurance agent in Cheyenne, has just been arrested by local authorities for selling an elderly couple a hurricane insurance policy. Press Extra reporter Voodoo Dupree, who is…
Read full storyRichard Branson’s Virgin Galactic Spaceflight Company Wants To Buy Delta Airlines
SPACE VALLEY, California – (Satire News) – Billionaire Richard Branson is always looking around to buy companies to incorporate into his massive business empire. The Alpha Beta News Agency has revealed that Brando, as Melania Trump calls him, is l…
Read full storyWhite Cabbage Causes Volcanic Eruption in German Man's Belly
After observing a volcanic eruption on La Palma causing havoc on this wonderful island, a German housewife decided to have white cabbage for dinner, preceded by a boiling hot plate of leek soup! Her husband Fritz Schmitz, who possesses quite a vol…
Read full storyPresident Biden Personally Fires 3 Border Patrol Agents on Horseback Who Herded Haitians Like Cattle
DEL RIO, Texas – (Satire News) – Scandal Today’s Cheyenne Patio witnessed with her very own eyes cruelty against immigrants that is reminiscent of the terroristic reign of Donald John “The Con” Trump. While close to 21,000 Haitians huddled underne…
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