Governor Andrew Cuomo Was Back
Governor Cuomo is behind his desk again, giving orders. Brought back by Henri, the cyclone, hurricane, north westerner, ice storm headed toward the east coast and New York. The guy took on Coronavirus and succeeded by taking command, saving lives, pr…
Read full storyThe Texas State High Court Calls For Gov. Greg “The Crazy Prick” Abbott To Be Removed From Office
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of the heart of Texas state that Governor Greg Abbott, who has gone off-the-deep-end and needs to be removed from office before the ignorant, loose cannon shitass gets a wild hair up his ass and decides to…
Read full storyMatt Gaetz Ties The Knot – Or Rather Gets Married (To a Woman)
CATALINA ISLAND, California – (Satire News) – Matt Gaetz, 39, who has sex-trafficking issues up the yazoo, as they say in Yazoo City, Mississippi, has married 26-year-old Ginger Luckey. He promised the local news media that his new, blushing bride…
Read full storyDick’s Sporting Goods Has Decided To Change It’s Sexually-Themed Name
OIL SPILL, Pennsylvania – (Business Satire) – iRumors is reporting that executives with Dick’s Sporting Goods have decided, that after 73 years, they are going to change the name of the national sporting goods retail company. Company spokeswoman S…
Read full storyThe Tijuana Tamale Packers Football Team, Which Is Owned By Beyonce, Win Their Season Opener
TIJUANA, Mexico – (Sports Satire) – Beyonce Knowles, known as Queen B, by her gazillions of devoted fans, is extremely thrilled that her team the Tijuana Tamale Packers won their season opener, by clobbering the visiting Mexicali Maracas by a score o…
Read full storyRhode Island’s 8-Year-Old Dare Devil "Rocket Boy" Ends Up Crashing Into A Vietnamese Nail Salon
CUCUMBER CREEK, Rhode Island – (Satire News) – Little 8-year-old dare devil sensation Billy “Rocket Boy” Pizzquilly was bound and determined to prove that he can get his rocket contraption, which he named “Bitchfire,” to travel at speeds exceeding 12…
Read full storyDonald Trump’s Doctor Says His Balls Are Atrophying (Shrinking) At An Alarming Rate
BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – Dr. Yang Fu Fi, has been the former “Divider-in-Chiefs” personal physician for decades. He first saw DJT, back on September 29, 1999, when Trump developed a horrible case of the clap, which he to this day claims he got…
Read full storyDan Patrick, The Lt. Gov. of The State of Texas Has Just Insulted Every African-American in Texas (And The Nation)
WACO, Texas – (Satire News) – Speaking at a gathering of the Anti-Normalcy Group of Texas, Lt. Gov. Dan “The Sham” Patrick did not mince words as he clearly placed the blame for the Delta Dawn Virus on the Black people of the United States. Patric…
Read full storyHere’s A Nightmare: Joe Biden Impeached
The situation in Afghanistan is a mess. Joe Biden spoke the truth about getting U.S. troops out of a twenty-year war on the other side of the world. But, unfortunately there appeared to be no planning for the U.S. exit. Biden's dog Major might have b…
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