
Li’l Wilmer Overcomes Prolapsed Anal Sphincter To Defeat Marmaduke In Pizza Poop-Off
BILLINGSGATE POST: Li’l Wilmer winced noticeably. A sudden reflex reaction that some would call a blink, was the first indication that he noticed the new dog in town. Marmaduke, a gentle giant of a Great Dane, measuring forty-six inches from pie-ho...
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"I Was Harpo Marx' Voice Coach"
Hollywood, CA. Woof Blister reporting for SIS - Stuff in Spoof. With the Golden Globes handed out and the Academy Awards to come, Cinema Publishers have announced a forthcoming book, the heretofore unpublished diary of the late Etaoin Shrdlu, whose m...
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Nashville Man Enjoys Psychotic Break
“We all need to take a little time off once in a while,” said Kenneth Cooke of Nashville, Tennessee, of his nearly week-long vacation from sanity. “Unfortunately, it wasn't paid time off. But what can you do – sometimes psychosis has its own agenda.”...
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Extremely Talented Writer Good At Basically Nothing Else In Life Loses Entire Novel After Improperly Removing USB Flash Drive From Dell Laptop
Minneapolis, Minnesota. After pouring his heart into a fictional novel over a period of 7 years and 5 months, Roger Wall, 39, removed his SanDisk Ultra Duel USB Flash Drive from his Dell laptop last Sunday, only to notice that everything had been er...
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Chinese New Year Called Off Due To Filthy Spitting Habit
Authorities in Beijing have called off celebrations for the Chinese New Year, due to the complete lack of hygiene practised by the greater majority of people in the country. The government said that they are especially concerned about spitting.
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Local man orbits Venus in converted shed
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has reportedly orbited the planet Venus in a garden shed that he had converted into a rudimentary rocketship over the course of less than a dozen weekends. Toby Dell, a gravity caster at Whitechapel Bell Foundry, blas...
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President Trump Impeachment Trial Has Really Caught The Attention Of The American Public
The impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump's 'wrongdoings' has, despite concerns to the contrary, ignited an enthusiasm in the general public that is difficult to comprehend, with many people admitting they were "mildly interested". Presi...
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Manchester United: Tranmere FA Cup Trip Will Be The End For Solskjaer
Tranmere Rovers, who were playing non-League football as recently as , overcame Premier League Watford in their FA Cup fourth-round replay last night, and now have the chance to bring the curtain down on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's chequered managerial ca...
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