Twiglet surprised to have survived until New Year's Eve
Twiglet Geoffrey Robinson is said to be rather shocked to still be around on New Year's Day. 'I suppose,' said Geoffrey, 'that the main reason I am still here is that I am right at the bottom of the tube, so people with their grubby little fingers…
Read full storyJaggedone has the 'Final Word' and that is definitely his 'Final Word!'
(NOT EDITED) Renowned, infamous, illiterate, renegade, rebellious Spoofer, Jaggedone, has decided to end it all, not physically, with the 'Final Word'. Well known all over the globe for his never-ending writing of never-ending codswallop, and always…
Read full storyCounterfeit Money Gang Go Into Receivership
A gang of criminals who invested more than a million dollars in machinery and expertise they needed to get their potentially lucrative money-printing business off the ground have declared their company insolvent after a cataclysmic mistake during the…
Read full storyWhite House Releases Planetary Protection Plan
Talk about changing the subject, like pronto, The White House (same one Donald Trump is refusing to vacate and is hunker down in) has released its Planetary Protection Plan. A lot of Ps there. Is someone extra nervous? Certainly, this can’t be an…
Read full storyTwitter To Organise First Televised 'Twitter Spat'
Twitter is set to organise its first annual celebrity Twitter fight next October. The event, being marketed as 'Twitter Spat 2021', will be held in Las Vegas and will be televised, via pay-per-view, from the MGM Grand arena. The idea was first tou…
Read full storyLocal Man Refuses to Move
A local man entered a local retail establishment Tuesday afternoon and adamantly refused to back up, violating local social distancing requirements. Gunter Chang was wearing a mask as required but apparently balked at being asked to distance himself…
Read full storyMan's plans for New Year's Eve same as they were last year
Thanks to the high budgets of ITV on New Year's Eve, the channel is showing the James Bond film, Skyfall, for the fourth time in the same slot, meaning a sense of continuity for grammar pedant Stanley Bridewater. 'For the past two years, rather th…
Read full storyThe Archers In Fresh Radio Reality Row
Long running BBC Radio 4 soap-opera 'The Archers' has come under fire after introducing a new, albeit accurate, dimension to the show. In the latest batch of episodes, the characters all had to adhere to current coronavirus restrictions, meaning t…
Read full storyLeeds football fans assert their masculinity with social media onslaught on female football pundit
"Get back in t'kitchen." "Tha knows nowt about football." "Put t'kettle on, lass." No, we don't know what these mean either, but apparently they were some of the online insults aimed at Karen Carney after a Leeds club tweet questioned her commen…
Read full storyBoris to build giant stone heads along south coast
In a rambling New Year's speech, Prime Minister Boris Johnson bragged about the post-Brexit trade deal he made with the EU, and gave his thoughts on the future direction of the country. "Finally, we can do what we always wanted," he said with his…
Read full storyThe Beginners Guide Special Edition: Pandemics
Welcome back to our 'Beginners Guide..' series. Nine years has passed since our last edition was published, and with all that has gone on in the world, it seems well overdue to add to that legacy. So, how are you? How have you been? I would guess,…
Read full storyTaco Bell Has Over 1.6 Million Christmas Burritos Left
ENCHILADA LAKE, California – (Satire News) – The executives at Taco Bell are not happy with the holiday food planning department, after their festive Taco Bell Christmas Burritos promotion went over like a pair of seedless maracas. The fast food c…
Read full storyGilligan’s Island’s Mary Ann Dies
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – The original ‘Queen of the Daisy Duke Short Shorts’ has passed away. And the Island of Gilligan will never be the same. Dawn Wells (aka Mary Ann Summers) has passed away at the age of 82, going on 22. Dawn was the…
Read full story