In a rambling New Year's speech, Prime Minister Boris Johnson bragged about the post-Brexit trade deal he made with the EU, and gave his thoughts on the future direction of the country.
"Finally, we can do what we always wanted," he said with his chin wobbling. "I plan to construct a series of giant stone heads, ten feet tall, along the south coast of England. It will be a celebration of Brexit, and Britain, and it will be great for the country."
The bizarre project has entered the planning stages, and the government is currently trying to source a thousand tonnes of rock from somewhere in the UK.
"This is what Brexit was all about," said the Prime Minister. "It will be glorious, just like those statues on Easter Island. I can't wait to see the look on [EU Brexit negotiator] Barnier's face when he sees them."
Brexit supporter Geoff Nasty thought the plan was fantastic. "It's great, just what we voted for. It'll really show those Frenchies."
