Trump Declares War On Canada

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 31 December 2020

image for Trump Declares War On Canada
"He said our hats were what?"

Donald Trump has declared war on Canada. The people in charge at the White House canceled his tweet account and won’t let his tweet declaration of war be made public. As an added precaution, they disconnected his telephone.

His chief of staff, Mark Meadows, announced there was a power failure up and down the eastern seacoast.

Trump threw a vase on the floor.

Swearing out loud, he said he got up out of bed to declare war on Canada, and nobody knew. Then he asked if Canada knew. He was assured that Canada knew, and that they already surrendered.

Outraged that Canada had surrendered before the rest of the world even knew he had declared a war, he said he wanted his generals to reject the surrender, and to go ahead with the invasion.

His generals had already accepted Canada’s surrender, and there could never be an invasion after the surrender, or it would be considered a war crime.

Trump was devastated and mumbled, “Damned sissy Smokey the Bear hats! Give me a manly solid steel helmet!”

When he was asked why he declared war on such a good neighbor, he replied that they were making too much noise upstaters, but the people downstairs were okay except for their mariachi music, beans, Menudo, and guacamole.

He was told that guacamole was delicious, and Menudo is great for a hangover, but have you ever heard Yo-Yo Ma play mariachi music on his cello?

What is Yo-Yo Ma? Some kid’s trick game?

Have you ever heard Willie Nelson play mariachi music on his cello?

“No.”

“Let’s go back upstairs, and we can listen to a Willie Nelson record whete he's playing Mariachi music on his cello.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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