Twiglet Geoffrey Robinson is said to be rather shocked to still be around on New Year's Day.
'I suppose,' said Geoffrey, 'that the main reason I am still here is that I am right at the bottom of the tube, so people with their grubby little fingers can't get me, but I have seen the people, and they are quite porky and rotund, so I am surprised to still be here.'
'Of course,' continued the Marmite-flavoured snack, 'with social distancing, it is better for me now, even though I am lonely here with the crumbs. I like life, but I don't fear seeing the light, the fingers, and the insides of a stomach.'