Airline Pilots Stop Working In Trump’s Condition
An airline pilot would be permanently removed from the flight deck if he or she displayed Donald Trump's personality disorders. A Safeway cashier would be reduced to re-stacking shelves or sent home if he or she demonstrated the same quirks as T…
Read full storyJab-a-go-go advertising campaigns underway; vaccine company stocks UP
Inspired by Ryanair's “jab and go” advertising, a host of new promotional enterprises is now emerging on the world stage. However, Ryanair's cheerful “grab and go” discount offers have brought on some negative reaction. The pitch is a million s…
Read full storyTrump, In Final Nobel Prize Bid, Announces Peace Deals Between Israel and Iceland, Bolivia, Fiji
Washington - President Donald Trump, hoping to clinch the 2021 Nobel Peace Prize before leaving office, announced that he has deals in the works to extend the Abraham Accords, which currently spell out peace terms between Israel and a number of Middl…
Read full storyGermans Prove They Do Have A Sense Of Humor, Even Though It's A Bit Odd
There have been enough swipes at the Germans' lack of a sense of humor to last, as the Third Reich was to have done, a thousand years, but that is set to change after a girl used her own comedic bent to conjure up some fun out of the Coronavirus, by…
Read full storyLouis Gohmert Sues Pence Claiming He Caught Covid From a Mask, Not From Being an Imbecile
Washington - Texas Representative Louis Gohmert sued Mike Pence, Monday, claiming he could vote for whoever he wanted for president, instead of the voter choice of Joe Biden. "The election is just for fun, it is really the Vice President who picks…
Read full storySatan Turns Lou Dobbs and Steven Miller Back Into Gargoyles After They Fail to Destroy U.S. Democracy
Washington - After they failed in their attempt at destroying a 250-year-old experiment in a democratic form of government, Satan decided to call off his attempt to overturn the 2020 United States election, and turn White House aide Stephen Miller an…
Read full storySmall Australian town battling to survive
Persons in the small Australian town of Dunedoo have been restless of late. It seems that a series of unfortunate incidents has conspired to make the locals nervous. The first event to distract the townspeople was the refusal of homegrown hens to…
Read full storyBrit Back-Packers Booze on Bondi Beach!
(NOT EDITED) Renowned as the very best hooligans, boozers, bozos, and irritating pestilence on the planet, young Brits and Back-Packers determined to enhance this well-earned reputation, invaded Australia, and caused outrage once again! Beach Bums…
Read full storyBoris boasts Brexit deal as "great victory"
After years of negotiation, the UK finally agreed post-Brexit trade arrangements with the EU this week. Prime Minister Boris Johnson boasted that he had secured the best possible deal. He said, "We have successfully negotiated access to the Europe…
Read full storyThe NFL is Considering Banning the Halftime
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has been facing lots of pressure lately, due to the fact that some of the football games are running extremely long. He noted that part of the problem is due to the sponsors, who dem…
Read full storyA White House Maid Says Trump is Stealing Dishes, Silverware, Towels, and Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – RumorLand News has stated that the White House senior maid, Shontella du Pompidou, has said that the President is starting to steal lots and lots of White House property. Du Pompidou, 51, who recently married a m…
Read full storyA Missouri Con Artist is Arrested For Selling Fake Tsunami Insurance
JOPLIN, Missouri – (Satire News) – Police in Joplin, Missouri have taken Wally B. Haymarket into custody after receiving dozens of complaints from local residents. It appears that Wally, who stands 6-foot-10-inches tall, but weighs only 142 pounds…
Read full story