Brit Back-Packers Booze on Bondi Beach!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 29 December 2020

image for Brit Back-Packers Booze on Bondi Beach!
"Covid-19, what the fuck is Covid-19, BURP! We don't give a shit, we're young and just wanna party!!"

(NOT EDITED) Renowned as the very best hooligans, boozers, bozos, and irritating pestilence on the planet, young Brits and Back-Packers determined to enhance this well-earned reputation, invaded Australia, and caused outrage once again!

Beach Bums, mainly wearing England footy replica shirts, Santa hats, and nothing much else, decided to have a grand Christmas whooping-up party on Sydney's favourite beach, Bondi Beach!

Aussie fitness freaks jogging past could not believe their eyes as hordes of boozy Brits took over the place for a mega-Chrissy party.

Jaggedone, hearing of this outrageous behaviour, decided to send one of his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporters, Beach-Bum Pommy-Granite, down to the beach to see what all the fuss was about, here his report:

"Hundreds of half-naked, non-masked Brits, between the ages of 16 and 30, are ignoring all Aussie COVID-19 regulations and whooping it up as if there is no tomorrow! Well for their grannies and granddads back in the UK maybe there will be no tomorrow, but who gives a fuck, they are in Australia!

Beach-Bum Pommy-Granite interviewed a couple before they flaked out on the beach, here their responses:

James, student from Oxford: "Well mummy and daddy told me to fuck off to Aussie land, it's warm there, and their lockdowns are like Swiss Cheese, so me and my buddy, Cyril, got a flight, mummy and daddy paid for it of course, and here we are, whooping it up, BURP!"

Pommy-Granite's question, "But you guys are fucking irresponsible and when you return to the UK you could spread the virus to your parents and grandparents even further, so why are you not abiding by COVID-19 regulations?"

Cecil, student from Cambridge: "Well mate, it's all a conspiracy, we are upper-class snotty Brits, we conquered Aussie years ago, exiled Aborigine's into the desert where they belong, our prisoners built this land, so we young Brits have the damn right to do what we want! In addition, we love Boris Johnson, Mogg, and Farage, and we just love partying on OUR beaches, BURP!"

After receiving this shocking report at CIA HQ, Jaggedone booked a flight to Sydney where he's hoping to join a New Year’s Eve party planned by young Brit morons, but only to shove firecrackers up their fucking ignorant butts!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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