Jab-a-go-go advertising campaigns underway; vaccine company stocks UP

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 29 December 2020

image for Jab-a-go-go advertising campaigns underway; vaccine company stocks UP
Scene from revitalized cruise ship service; yes, they are masked

Inspired by Ryanair's “jab and go” advertising, a host of new promotional enterprises is now emerging on the world stage.

However, Ryanair's cheerful “grab and go” discount offers have brought on some negative reaction.

The pitch is a million seats on one-way flights for as low as £19.99 with the slogan:

“So you can jab and go, and if your plans change, so can your booking.”

Some have called this advertising "disease harvesting" and “distasteful”.

On Twitter, it has been called “disgusting”.

Madison Avenue, on the other hand, has perked up.

For example, the phrasing “jab-a-go-go” (also available with music) is now entering the mainstream.

(That is, get your jab; you're good to go, whatever.)

The cruise industry is particularly happy.

“Jab-a-go-go offers all the advantages of pre-Covid days, and then some!” chortles one cruise service.

“Plus, in our ballrooms in the evening, we have the new Covid-boogie, pole-dancers, and, yes, traditional waltzes to enliven the cruise of a lifetime!”

Further, a new slogan is surfacing to encourage a cheerful attitude as the shirt sleeve is rolled up, needle hovering.

Look for huge billboards and a smiling Fauci image alongside the words: “A little jab'll do ya!”

Need for this new lighter approach is particularly important at this time, according to pharmaceutical spokespersons and the needle industry.

This is because, according to ZH news, following the first 215,000 vaccinations in the USA, the number is currently 5,000 for those who have experienced serious discomfort from the vaccines.

Further, an Israeli man has just died of a heart attack two hours after receiving the needle.

But, after all, stock lying around in the millions must be moved on.

Needle industry spokesperson:

“Putting a cheerful light on getting jabbed is very much in fashion now! Even if the thing is only 95% effective!”

Meanwhile, even the world of art has been affected with new “vaccine music fit for the industry”, inspired by the great Louis Armstrong.

Husky voices are being sought for the following masterpiece as we speak:

give me,
in my imagination
a jab to build a dream on
a jab before you leave me
in ICU or wherever
and when I'm alone with all my fancies
I'll be weaving romances
making believe they're true
my stocks and all are rising
the pharmacies are smiling
and I'm jabbed forever new!
give me
in my imagination
a jab to build a dream on . . .

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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