The Dick With Two Faces
A 75-year-old man has been warned he faces jail because of his point blank refusal to stop waving his dick at his neighbours. Bernard Condron has been warned by friends, family, the police and members of the clergy to “seriously, dude, stop waftin...
Read full storySpain to Exhume body of General Franco--Will Be Reburied at Trump Miami Hotel
After failing to bring the G-7 summit leaders to his struggling Miami hotel, President Trump has decided to rebrand his resort as the final resting place for unwanted dictators. The Wall Street Journal and Bloomberg News have reported the Trump Inte...
Read full storyPocahontas: “Mexico Will Pay For Our Health Care.”
BILLINGSGATE POST: Pocahontas has finally been pinned down. For months, she has dodged the question regarding who would come up with the 30 trillion dollars to pay for our health care. Taking a page from President Trump’s successful campaign mant...
Read full storyThe Drone Wars
UK police have announced a new weapon in the war on “people being a bit of a pain”, with the formation of a new crack drone unit. The unit's primary goal will be to combat the threat posed by the odd drone flying over Heathrow, but will probably...
Read full storyMore Boris More Bluster
After yet another defeat in the House of Commons, and an embarrassing crawl back to the EU to beg for another Brexit extension, Prime Minister Johnson, has remained in a bullish mood, still seemingly clinging to the idea that “as long as you believe...
Read full storyRomney Denies Second Secret Social Media Account
Senator Mitt Romney, a frequent Trump critic, confessed yesterday to being the person responsible for the disguised social media account "Pierre Delecto", by replying "C'est moi" to a reporter's inquiry. Now, after media reports of other secret a...
Read full storyHillary Clinton – Dems Determined Not to Be Out-lied in 2020
Criticizing the Democratic National Committee (DNC) in her October 19 podcast with David Plouffe, Hillary Clinton claimed that, while the 2020 DNC should be a little better prepared than in 2016, the Democrats were still going to be “outgunned, outsp...
Read full storyNashville Man Becomes Entangled in Web of Deception
Kenny Hendricks of Nashville, Tennessee, was out for a morning run in the park when he caught sight of Polly Hartley, a woman he'd dated briefly and never called again, in the distance. Aiming to avoid an awkward encounter, Kenny pretended not to not...
Read full storyTrump's new career move
In news slowly oozing and seeping from the cornstalks of time, President Donald Trump has announced he will pursue a new career in fine arts, specialising in interior design. The President claims that he was warned in a dream that, if he didn't fo...
Read full storyMan's Family Acquires Rabbit
Rabbits are lovely, although a bit dimwitted, creatures, and don't always make the best pets due to their lack of interaction with their owners, but one family is celebrating their good fortune this evening after being presented with one of the lovab...
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