Man claims to have found God in Cornwall
A man from Cornwall claims to have discovered evidence of God on Bodmin Moor. Geoff Tractor, 47, is an unemployed astronaut from Launceston, and is convinced that the creator of the Universe lives on the remote moorland. Tractor said, "I was up on...
Read full storyDemocrats Vote To Decriminalize Crime: No More Folsom Prison Blues
BILLINGSGATE POST: No more Folsom Prison Blues. If Johnny Cash were still alive, he wouldn’t be able to visit this California prison near Sacramento. The music he recorded inside these walls would now fall on deaf ears, because crime has been decrimi...
Read full storyDesperate FDA Classifies Anxiety as Exercise
Desperate to counter skyrocketing rates of mental illness and plummeting rates of physical activity, the Food and Drug Association has officially classified anxiety as exercise. "It really does get the heart rate up at times," said FDA Commissione...
Read full storyHarry Maguire To Preside Over Manchester United Christmas Service
Manchester United have announced full details of their Christmas and New Year celebrations, with the highlight being the MUFC Christmas Service to be held outside Old Trafford on Sunday, 22 December, and which will be presided over by central defende...
Read full storyMan Injures Cranium On Overhead Fan On Bus
A man boarding a bus in the Thai capital of Bangkok was hurt when, watching where he was putting his feet, he walked headfirst into an overhead fan hanging from the roof of the vehicle, causing annoyance. Moys Kenwood, then 52, was boarding a numb...
Read full storyHeroic But Somewhat Disturbed And Violent Technical Writer Saves Newly-Married Couple From Demonic Force
Jared Wall was never an ordinary man. Some considered him a myth, others appraised him as a legend, and many simply remembered him as the amazing technical documentation writer who produced software installation instructions, manufacturing efficienc...
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